


Nagase's Family

by reveetoile



Series: Creating a new family [6]
Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2020-06-26 11:36:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 35,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19767397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reveetoile/pseuds/reveetoile
Summary: Oneshots all about the Nagase-family.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 01: 012 - Stolen  
> Chapter 02: 005 - Hurt  
> Chapter 03: 011 - Moon  
> Chapter 04: 002 - Absent  
> Chapter 05: 008 - Bad  
> Chapter 06: 018 - Haunted  
> Chapter 07: 016 - Go  
> Chapter 08: 027 - Plenty  
> Chapter 09: 007 - Future  
> Chapter 10: 028 - Trust  
> Chapter 11: 020 - Large  
> Chapter 12: 029 - Lies  
> Chapter 13: 006 - Silver  
> Chapter 14: 021 - Friendship  
> Chapter 15: 001 - Split  
> Chapter 16: 003 - Forgo  
> Chapter 17: 013 - Candy  
> Chapter 18: 009 - Turn Around  
> Chapter 19: 015 - Thirsty  
> Chapter 20: 004 - Willing  
> Chapter 21: 026 - Meagre  
> Chapter 22: 010 - Midnight  
> Chapter 23: 023 - Duty  
> Chapter 24: 024 - Judge  
> Chapter 25: 025 - Jury  
> Chapter 26: 017 - Stay  
> Chapter 27: 014 - Hunger  
> Chapter 28: 022 - Honour  
> Chapter 29: 019 - Hunted

Kazu was crying when Nagase arrived at the kindergarten to fetch him. The little boy was running up to him and hugged him around the waist as he pressed his wet face against his trousers. Nagase picked him up fast to hug him close and caress his head softly. He was shocked at seeing the little boy like that. 

“Kazu, what's wrong?” he asked him, but Kazu shook in his arms and pressed even more into him. Nagase looked lost as he observed the crying boy and rubbed the small of his back calmingly. 

“Are you hurt?”

Kazu shook his head wildly but still didn’t look up to him. He looked around to find one of the teachers and was glad when one came to him soon after. “What happened?” Nagase was anxious and wanted to know what happened with his small adopted son so that he could help him. 

She sighed a little bit at the question and watched Kazu with a small frown on her face. “Nothing bad,” she began. Nagase tried not to scoff since having a crying boy in his arms looked like all the bad things he could think of had happened.

“He got frustrated because crafts didn’t go as he wanted,” she mumbled carefully and as silent as possible so that Kazu wouldn’t hear. “He started saying he was dumb and stupid and we couldn’t calm him down,” she ended up. 

Nagase hummed with a nod and ruffled Kazu’s hair who was still crying, but it had calmed down, even if Nagase supposed that was mostly down to the exhaustion. He had already figured out that Kazu had a low frustration tolerance. It had gotten worse the last few weeks, but they were working on it. Until now Kazu never had such a meltdown here. 

At home, he always threw things around when he lost a few rounds of any board games they played. It was hard, but they were working on it. 

“Come on let’s get you home, little one,” Nagase said and kissed his forehead before changing his shoes and putting the coat around his shoulders. Kazu fell asleep on his arm shortly after they left the building and Nagase carried him home slowly, making sure that he wouldn’t fall. 

Nagase stroked his hair and back to keep him asleep until they were home where he put him into his bed and made sure he wouldn’t be able to fall out. He kissed the pale forehead and caressed his red cheeks. 

Kazu always wanted to be the best in everything, and he got mad and sad every time he wasn’t. Nagase had talked with his therapist about it when it had gotten worse and realised that this had to do something with his father and how he had treated him and his mother. There had been punishments if they had been anything less than perfect and Kazu was scared of that deep inside. 

Nagase left the room to make Kazu’s favourites for dinner and thought about what to tell Kazu to make sure he knew that he was perfect just like he was. It wouldn’t be the first time he said to him, but after today he had to make sure that it sank into that stubborn head of the boy.

When the hamburger steaks were prepared he put them into the fridge together with the cut vegetables and left the kitchen to go to his bedroom. Kazu was still laying in the middle of the bed in the bedroom, and Nagase sat down beside him. He pulled him on his lap as he caressed his hair lovingly until his eyes opened slowly. 

“Tomo,” Kazu said surprised, and he smiled softly. 

“Hey little one,” Nagase said, smiling when Kazu sat up and kissed his cheek. “Could you tell me what happened this morning?”

“Nothing,” Kazu said and hid his face at his shirt. 

“What did we say about lying to each other?”

“Not to do it,” Kazu said with red cheeks, and he snuggled closer to him. “I cried.”

“Yes, I know. Why what happened?”

“I’m dumb. I can’t do crafts. Lisa is sooo much better, and Andrew is better at drawing, and Satoshi is so much smarter than me. Kim can catch all balls easily, and Ken is sooo good at football. I can’t do anything. And Julie said she learnt swimming already,” he said with a sad frown.

“Kazu,” Nagase sighed and sat him up on his lap to make him look into his eyes. “It may be that Lisa is better at doing crafts or that Ken is better at football but please, believe me, my little one; you are meant to be just as you are. You shouldn’t be different than you are now. Because like that you are my beloved child and it makes me happy to see you laugh and smile because you are my sunshine.”

“But…” Kazu’s lip wobbled slightly, and he hid his face again at his stomach. 

“No buts. It could be that Andrew draws better than you or that Satoshi is smarter than you right now, but know, you should just be like you are. That way you are perfect. I won’t lie to you about that. You are you, Satoshi is Satoshi, and I am me. The world may be changing around us, and people will be better at things than you are, you will get smarter as time goes by and learn more about the world and all that’s inside. But regardless of how much the world and everybody will change. We’ll be us, and I will love you forever just as you are now just as I love Satoshi as he is. Don’t you feel the same? Or would you like us to change?”

Kazu shook his head wildly and buried his fingers into his shirt. “No. You shouldn’t. I like Toshi and you just as you are,” he mumbled as he thought about how they were all the time.

“See and that’s why you shouldn’t change either. I love you just as you are, okay?” he said, making Kazu look up again. “So try not to get upset if you see others be better than you are, okay? Because there are tons of things, you are better than anybody else.”

“Am not,” Kazu denied. 

Nagase rolled his eyes as he pinched his nose and tugged at a few strands of hair. “You are wonderful at taking care of Mr Bear and Doggy. You give the best bear hugs as well,” he smiled as he hugged him tightly. 

Kazu giggled at those words and hugged him around the neck.

“And you look just like happy as the sun when you dance to your favourite songs while singing to them. And you are the best help someone wants to have in his kitchen. So how about we prepare dinner together before Satoshi comes home all starving?”

Kazu looked up and nodded after a second of thought. They went to the kitchen where Nagase let Kazu prepare fruits for a dessert still thinking about their talk. “But Tomo? What should I do if I get mad? My mind goes all strange, and I won’t hear anyone anymore,” he said with a frown as he concentrated on cutting the apple in crude pieces. 

“What are you talking about, little one?”

“When I can’t do something,” Kazu explained slowly. 

“Mhm…” Nagase hummed in thought and put the lid on the pan so that the hamburger steaks would cook completely. He sat beside him and pulled him to his lap. “How man apples have you stolen?” He asked when he realised how little apple pieces are in the bowl even if most he had given Kazu had already gone. Kazu giggled a little at the question and pushed the next bit into his mouth. 

“I like apples.”

“I know that’s why I thought about putting them into a fruit salad for us,” Nagase explained with an amused smile as he ruffled his hair. Kazu giggled and ate another piece. 

“But oh well. I think we’ll make the salad without. So what helps you when you feel frustrated about not being able to do something at home?”

“You hug me. And then I know that you don’t mind me not being good at something,” Kazu explained. “And your hugs are warm.”

“How about you remember me then?”

“What if I can’t?” 

“We’ll do some reminder for you,” Nagase said softly as he took a pen from the table. Kazu watched him curiously as the man took his hand and drew a small heart on the inside of his hand just under his thumb of his left hand before doing the same to his own. 

Kazu blinked at the small heart and then looked back up a Nagase with a frown. “Look. I have one, and you have one. I’ll draw one each day if that helps. We both have one. And if you feel sad or mad or insecure or anything really or if you need a warm hug, you look at that little heart and touch it. And I will know and touch it as well. Then you know that I’m thinking of you and hug you in my mind, okay? Do you want to try that?”

Kazu looked at him with big eyes before looking back at his hand. He touched the heart softly to see what would happen. He peered at Nagase who hid a grin and touched the small heart on his hand at that.

“It’s warm,” Kazu said surprised. Nagase laughed and hugged him before pressing his nose against the sweet smelling hair. 

“That’s good. So let’s try?”

“Yes, thank you,” Kazu said and giggled when Nagase tickled him. 

“So let’s make that fruit salad. Otherwise, we won’t have dessert. Did you leave any apples to put into?” Nagase asked with a grin as he peered into the bowl and then on the table. There was only a quarter of apple left but not for long because as soon as he saw it Kazu’s small hand shot out to grab it and nibble on it, laughing when Nagase cried out in mock outrage, tickling him again. 

Kazu laughed out loud, but in the end, Nagase put him on his seat to let him finish the apple while doing the fruit salad. When the door opened, and Satoshi called out a greeting. Kazu left his chair to run to his brother and tell him about the heart and everything.


	2. Chapter 2

Nagase watched Satoshi from his place at the door. He sighed as he saw the downtrodden look of his son and knocked lightly on the door. 

“May I come in?”

“Huh?” Satoshi asked as he looked up in surprise. It took a moment for him to react but then he nodded slightly. “Of course.”

Nagase smiled as he got in and ruffled his hair lovingly. “What’s up kid? You look down.”

Satoshi shrugged but stood up to fall onto his bed. Nagase sighed before settling down beside him and rubbing his shoulders slightly. 

“Dad?”

“Yes?”

“In school, we made cards for our mothers,” Satoshi said as he rolled onto his back and watched his father with irritated eyes. He usually wasn’t feeling awful about his mother, not because he didn’t miss her but because his dad and Kazu made his days worthwhile and he often just had fun. 

“Mother’s day,” Nagase said with slow realisation in his eyes. He had forgotten about that one. He sighed and ruffled his hair. 

“And that reminded you of painful things?” he asked softly as he hugged him. 

“Yes,” Satoshi said carefully. “I can’t tell my mum that I love her,” he mumbled and grimaced a bit. 

“You can,” Nagase disagreed and bopped the tip of his nose. “You know that, right?”

Satoshi smiled carefully before he nodded and looked up at him. “I know. But still, it hurts to be remembered that she isn’t here anymore,” he confessed. 

“I know,” Nagase said with a sad smile and kissed his forehead. “But know that I’m very proud of you.”

Satoshi grinned and hugged him close. He was happy that Nagase was there for him to talk to and just tried his best to make him smile again. Then he sighed though and hid his face at Nagase’s chest.

“What about Kazu though?” he asked after a few seconds. 

“I don’t know yet,” Nagase confessed. “I don’t know if they prepared anything at the daycare. But I’ll find out until the weekend, and then I need to think about something,” Nagase said softly. 

Kazu would be even more hurt than Satoshi not to be able to talk with his mother. 

Satoshi looked up at those words and even grinned a little bit at the worried look of Nagase. He loved that Nagase was so concerned about them. “I’m sure you will think of something. You are superman after all,” Satoshi giggled. 

Nagase rolled his eyes and pinched his nose. “Do you want to come with me fetch Kazu from daycare?”

“Why is he still there by the way?” 

“Because this afternoon they had a special activity Kazu wanted to participate in. A magician is coming to the daycare. And when he asked me if he was allowed to stay over lunch I couldn’t say no,” he explained. 

“Oh sounds fun,” Satoshi said with a grin. He was surprised by that, but he was curious as to what Kazu would tell them when he got home. “I think I should come with you. It’s better than to stay at home all alone,” he mumbled with a shrug and then got up.

“Great. As I’m too lazy to cook today, we can get dinner on the way home. You have to fight with Kazu over where to go,” he grinned as he stood. “Come on; otherwise we’ll be late, and you don’t want to see Kazu crying do you?”

Satoshi shook his head with a smile as he stood to follow Nagase.

As soon as they arrived at the daycare, they were greeted by a grinning Kazu who jumped into Nagase’s arm. The man laughed as he caught him and ruffled his hair as he picked him up.

“Did you have fun?”

“Yes! It was amazing. He could do so many things. I want to do magic as well. Can I learn?”

“If you want,” Nagase agreed easily and pressed a kiss to his forehead before putting him down. “Where did you leave your bag? Have you already tried to make it vanish?” Nagase asked with a small frown as he helped Kazu into his jacket and looked around for his bag, which wasn’t where it was supposed to be.

“Huh?” Kazu asked a bit confused and then fell to his knees to look under the small bench where they put their shoes and things on top of normally. He crawled halfway under it and then reappeared with a proud grin and his bag in his hands. “It fell down,” he declared.

Satoshi giggled at his antics and helped Kazu to strap it on before taking his hand in his own. 

“Dad says we can choose what’s for dinner,” he said with a smile. “He is too lazy to cook.”

“Hamburger!” Kazu cried out giggling to which Satoshi frowned. He tickled the boy who almost went down laughing. 

“I want pizza,” Satoshi begged with a cute pout. 

Kazu grimaced for a second before taking Satoshi’s hand in his own and finally leaving the building. 

“Will there be pasta?” he asked then. 

“Yup,” Nagase said and smiled at them. “So it’s pizza and pasta?” he asked the boys who nodded with happy smiles. 

The boys ran in front of Nagase as Satoshi knew the way already and he also knew to stop at any street crossing for Nagase. Satoshi held Kazu’s hand tightly and made him stop every time. 

“And what to do before crossing the street?” Satoshi asked and tried not to tease the boy. Safety on the streets was a serious matter after all. 

“Looking left, looking right, and looking left again,” Kazu answered with a smile and did as he said. 

“Yup, no cars?”

“Nu-uh,” Kazu answered, and they crossed the streets when Nagase touched their shoulders to let them know that they could go.

—

Thanks to Satoshi, Nagase wasn’t that surprised when he got a call from the kindergarten teachers about Kazu shouting and then crying and not calming down just two days later. 

He promised to come directly to fetch the boy from there. He sighed as he entered the teacher’s room and found Kazu crying on a chair. He knelt in front of it and saw Kazu rubbing and pressing against the small heart mark on his hand. 

Nagase’s heart broke for the small boy who still hadn’t realised that he was there. Carefully he put a hand on his knee, smiling warmly when Kazu flinched as he looked up. 

“Tomo!” he whined and let himself all into the arms of the man. He pressed his face into his shoulder and cried loudly. “It hurts.”

“Where does it hurt, little one?” he asked and rubbed his back in small circles. 

“Inside, all,” he explained with a small sob. 

“Sounds really bad,” Nagase said and ruffled his hair. “How about we go home little one? And then you tell me what happened and what you want to do?”

“I wanna my mummy,” he cried. 

“I know. Do you want to go home?”

“Yes, please,” Kazu sniffed. Nagase pulled back for a second to dry his cheeks even if it was in vain and to get his things. He thanked the teacher slightly before picking Kazu up again to carry him to his car to bring him home as fast as possible. When they arrived there, he collected Kazu back into his arms as soon as they stepped out of the car.

In their apartment, Nagase sat down with the boy safely in his lap. He let him cry until Kazu calmed down slowly and almost fell to sleep on top of him. 

“Do you want to take a nap, Kazu? And then we talk about what made you so sad?”

“No sleepy,” Kazu mumbled, but he was unable to open his eyes. 

Nagase smiled and kissed the top of his head. “Then how about we cuddle a bit more?”

“Cuddles,” Kazu agreed and fell onto his chest before falling to sleep very slowly. 

Nagase sighed sadly when Kazu finally was asleep and put him down onto the sofa to put a blanket over the small body. He stood to make some calls and vanished into his study to talk with Kazu’s therapist about the emergency call. He had an idea for the small boy, but he wanted to make sure that it was okay with them.

—

Nagase set down a mug with hot chocolate, cream and marshmallows down on the low table before sitting down beside his small boy again.

“Wakey, wakey, sleepy head,” he whispered lovingly as he caressed his hair. Kazu blinked as he was woken up with a small groan. His eyes hurt and he didn’t understand why. 

The memory came back only slowly, and Nagase was right there when Kazu held out his arms with a small whimper. 

“I’m here, Kazu. You are okay,” he whispered and kissed his forehead. 

“Tomo,” he whined as he put his head on his shoulder. 

“I’m here,” he repeated and rubbed his back. “Do you want to explain to me what hurts?”

“Here and here,” Kazu said with a little sniff as he put a hand on his stomach and to his heart. 

“And why?”

“Because all of the others were talking so much about what to make for they mummy for Mother’s Day. I never made anything for my mummy. And I want to make her a card as well, but mummy is in heaven and not here,” he explained with tears in his eyes again. 

“Oh my little one,” Nagase said and hugged him close again. 

“I want to write mummy a card. Can’t I send one to heaven?” he asked with a small whine. 

“My smart little Kazu. How about we try just that? We will make a card for your mummy, and you know those balloons that fly? We will put the card there and then let it fly, okay? That way you can tell your mummy.”

Kazu looked a bit insecure at those words, but then a grin appeared on his face, and he nodded vigorously. That was a perfect idea!

Nagase smiled and kissed his forehead. “Okay, then why don’t you drink that delicious smelling hot chocolate while I go get the crafting materials. You can draw on the card and then tell me what I should write.”

“Thank you!”

Nagase sat down behind Kazu so that he could still be close to the boy and hug him softly as he drew hearts and his new family on it before presenting Nagase the pen. 

“Write: For mummy, I really love you, and I miss you. I hope you have a nice house there in heaven and that it’s not so cold. Are the clouds fluffy and soft to sit on? Tomo told me you never could come back and that it wasn’t your choice to leave me alone. Still, I wish to see you again.”

Nagase kissed his head again as he wrote down the words and smiled. “Do you want to sign?” he asked lovingly. 

“Show me?” Nagase smiled as he noted down Kazu’s name carefully so that he could copy it accurately. 

Kazu’s tongue peeked out from between his lips as he carefully copied the letters stroke for stroke. Afterwards, he showed Nagase the card and gave him the pen again. 

“Write the address, please? The angels need to be able to read it right?”

“Ah yes, of course. And a return address so that she can answer right?”

Kazu nodded with a smile and watched as Nagase carefully wrote their contact details down. “We can get the balloon when we go and surprise Satoshi after school. How does that sound?”

“Good,” Kazu agreed and snuggled closer to Nagase while looking at the card. He hoped his mummy would be able to read it and maybe even answer him.

“Can I get another hot choco?” he asked hopefully. 

“I don’t know about the can, but you may,” Nagase corrected him softly. “But you need to let me get up.”

“I’ll help,” Kazu decided as he got up and ran to the kitchen leaving Nagase to follow him with a small chuckle.


	3. Chapter 3

Kazu sat on his bed with the blanket covering most of his body. He tried not to let out any sounds as he swayed forwards and backwards with tears slipping down his cheeks. He had had a bad dream about his father and he really really wanted Tomoya to hug him and tell him that everything was going to be okay. He moved on the bed before grimacing as he felt the wetness on the mattress. 

Carefully he climbed out of bed and took off his sleeping pants and shorts before getting a new woollen blanket and climbing on his window sill. Tomoya had built a shelf in the same height of the window sill and put cushions and blankets there. In the shelf, itself were picture books, and he took one of them as he hugged his plush Doggie and sniffed slightly. 

He rubbed his painful eyes as he opened the book to look at the pictures. He knew that he could go to Nagase and climb into his bed and the older would help him with everything and wash him, but he was too scared to go out. A few days prior Tomoya had brought a youth home with him. 

Satoshi and Tomoya both had explained to him that such a thing could happen any time now. Tomoya told him that it was his jobs to take children or youths in until they could be put into a more permanent home. 

So there was a boy here. He was much older than he or even Satoshi. He also was scaring Kazu very much. He said mean thins, and he didn’t like the look in his eyes. It frightened him. The day before yesterday Kazu had been thirsty in the middle of the night, and when he went to the kitchen, the boy had been there and had made fun of him and told him he would hurt him if he told anybody what he had said. 

“I’m really lousy, Doggie,” he mumbled as he pulled his legs close to his body to put his head on his knees and look out of the window. 

He knelt on the window sill and put his hands on the glass to look out. 

“Do you think that mommy sits there on a star or the moon? Like Kaguya-hime?” Kazu asked and looked for the picture book he opened it and stroke the drawing of the princess. It could be his mommy. He was sure that his mommy looked just like the princess in the picture book. 

“But Tomo said those are fairy tales and not true,” he mumbled sadly. “Or not exactly true? He said that in most stories lies a grain of truth,” he said as he looked back to the full moon. It looked beautiful, Kazu thought and rolled up on the soft, comfy cushions. 

Kazu pulled the blanket over his body and hugged his dog close. He watched the moon until his eyes fell closed and he fell asleep again. 

—

Nagase sighed when he entered Kazu’s room the next morning. It was the same sight he had been greeted for a few mornings now even if in a few variations. He squatted down in front of him and caressed his cheek softly. 

“Hey good morning little one,” he whispered as he played softly with his hair until Kazu blinked his eyes open with a sleepy yawn.

“Tomo,” Kazu mumbled as he rubbed his eyes and sat up carefully. 

Nagase smiled softly as he pushed his sleeve back up to cover his shoulder and then pushed a strand of hair behind his ear. “Did you have an accident tonight?”

“Bad dreams,” Kazu mumbled fighting against his tears again. 

“Aww, my little love,” Nagase whispered as he picked him up. “And why didn’t you come to me?”

Kazu hid his face and shrugged little as he held his dog close to him. Nagase kissed his head before making sure that the blanket was still covering the boy up completely. Kazu hid in Nagase’s arm and tried not to flinch when they crossed the door the stranger was sleeping in. 

Nagase felt him stiffen though and pressed his lips against his hair. He brought him to the bathroom and let water into the bathtub before helping Kazu strip and put him into the warm water. 

Kazu giggled softly when there was foam on the water, and he played around with it and a rubber duck. Nagase smiled and knelt in front of the tub. 

“Kazu?” Nagase said and washed him down softly. “Can we talk a little?”

“Yup,” Kazu said and watched him with big eyes. “Did I do something wrong?”

“Oh no, little one. You were perfect,” he said and rubbed his cheeks before tears could run them down. “You are always perfect for me. But I realised that the bad dreams are back, huh? Did something happen?”

Kazu bit on his lips and finally shook his head slowly. “No?”

“Kazu, remember, we don’t lie here if it’s not about presents,” Nagase said with a small smile and poured water over his back to make sure that he would still be warm. 

“I can’t tell,” he mumbled and squeezed the duck harder in his hands. He cried out in shock when it escaped his hands. Tears were in his eyes and Nagase moved forwards to hug him. 

“Shh…” he whispered and kissed his forehead and swayed him back and forth until he had calmed down. “Kazu I need you to have to know one thing: You can tell me anything. Nothing bad will happen to you if you tell me something. I will make sure of this. This here, living here, being with me means that you are safe.”

Kazu nodded in understanding and sniffed slightly. “You are wet,” he mumbled with a bad conscience. Nagase chuckled softly and stroke his hair. “It’s fine. It was silly for me even to think that I shouldn’t just take a bath with you,” he said and bopped his head. “But now you should get out before the water gets all wet. And I want that you come to me this night if the bad dream happens again. You know you can always wake me up,” he said as he lifted him out of the tub and dried him up. 

“But Erik…” Kazu’s eyes widened and put his hands in front of his mouth at his slip on words. Nagase lifted an eyebrow but didn’t say anything as he helped him into new clothes and thought about what to do.

“Kazu? How do you feel when people come to live here?”

“Sato says you are a superhero,” Kazu says. “And you help people and me and Satoshi were allowed to be here. So that’s good,” Kazu said slowly. 

Nagase smiled as he carried him to the kitchen to make him some breakfast. He was glad that Erik usually slept until midday so that he had the time to talk with Kazu all alone and make him feel comfortable again. 

“I know what Satoshi says. I asked how you felt with it, Kazu. You are still so small, and I understand if it makes you feel uncomfortable.”

“Big boys are scary,” Kazu said finally and looked down. He felt uncomfortable when there were strangers inside his house that were mean or scary looking. 

Nagase nodded and ruffled his hair. “I will see that I find a solution. There will be something I can do to make you comfortable, and you don’t need to feel bad.”

“Really?”

“Really, really,” he said and kissed his foreheads. “So what do you want for breakfast?”

“Cornflakes and chocolate milk?”

Nagase chuckled a bit before nodding. “Huh, you definitely know when I feel bad and how you can make me do such things?”

Kazu giggled and thanked for the food. Nagase smiled and hugged him close after he had finished eating. 

“How about I call Samantha if you can stay the night there and the day tomorrow? I will handle Erik until then,” he promised. 

“Will Sato come?”

“I’ll ask him, okay? So what will you say?”

“But I’ll miss you. What if I cry?”

“Then you can call me, and we’ll talk. But you like Samantha right?”

“She is very nice.”

Nagase smiled and hugged him tightly. He kissed his head and closed his eyes at the sweet smell coming from his boy. “Then we should pack you a small bag, and I’ll call Samantha.”

Kazu nodded a bit and hoped that Samantha would like to have him over and that he wouldn’t disturb her too much. 

“She will be happy to have you over, I promise,” Nagase said and kissed his forehead again. Then he put him to the floor. “Your room now, little one,” he asked. Kazu nodded but stayed close to Nagase instead of going to his room. 

Nagase frowned for a second until he remembered that Kazu would have to cross the guest room, so he picked him up again to bring him to his room and help him pick out the things he wanted to bring before putting him to the sofa and called Samantha. It wasn’t hard to convince her to take Kazu. 

“She is coming in a bit,” Nagase said Kazu and sat down with him to wait for her. He kissed him goodbye and drew an extra big heart on his wrist before sending him with Samantha. 

After that was finished, he called his agency to talk about him about a change of jobs where he wouldn’t take any kids in anymore. He had sworn to himself to stop the moment one of his kids were uncomfortable and that time would be now. 

Nagase knew he was good at dealing with older youths and had offers to work for a few institutions, so he wasn’t worried too much about that. He just hoped that he would be able to handle his last client well without rushing it and with a clear head.


	4. Chapter 4

“Hello, little one,” Nagase greeted Kazu when he arrived at the daycare. He was hugged around his waist, and Nagase ruffled Kazu’s hair softly. 

“Hello, Tomo,” Kazu greeted with a bright grin as he looked up to him. “We played in the sandpit, and we played ball, and I learnt how to use the scissors for big boys today,” he explained happily as he let him go and hopped over to his rack to get his shoes and get ready to go home.

“Wow, you did? Great!” Nagase said as he watched him sit down as he changed into his outdoor shoes and fought with the hook-and-loop fastener for a second until he managed to close them. A proud look was on his face as he put on his coat as well with minor problems. Nagase grinned as he ruffled his hair. Kazu was getting more and more independent and self-confident. It was great to watch him grow like that. “Ready to go?”

“Yup!”

Kazu ran in front of Nagase to the door stepping on his toes to try to open the door. But he was still too small to reach the doorknob that was on the top quarter of the door so that the children wouldn’t be able to open it when they were allowed to play on the floor or the gym. 

Nagase put his hand on top of his head when he reached him and opened the door. 

“Toshi won’t be home today?” Kazu asked when they stepped out, and he skipped in front of Nagase. 

“No, he is absent. He is at Sho’s home today for a sleepover,” Nagase agreed when Kazu stopped at each crossing and waited for him to cross the streets together. “Do you want to go to the playground for a bit?”

“I want to go down the slide! And will you push me on the swings?” Kazu asked as he walked into the direction of the park. 

“Of course,” Nagase promised as he followed him a bit faster when Kazu now almost ran to the park where they could already hear voices of other children with their parents.

Nagase sat on a bench with Kazu’s back on his lap as the boy went to the slide first to play there. He watched him climbing up and sliding down before running around the slide to repeat the process with an amused smile. He knew that Kazu would call him when he wanted his help, so he was happy enough with sitting here and watching him. 

They spend almost an hour at the playground until Kazu was ready to leave for home - mostly because of hunger than of being bored.

“What’s for dinner?” Kazu asked with big eyes as he held onto Nagase’s hand. 

“I made lasagna for today and tomorrow. I hope you’ll like it,” Nagase replied softly while they waited at the crossing for the green light. Kazu was jumping up and down with a bright grin on his face. 

“Sounds yummy,” he agreed happily. “Tomo?”

“Yes, what is it?”

“Do you think mommy got my letter and answered?” he asked as he nibbled on his lip worriedly. 

Nagase blinked surprised at his question because it was so sudden. But sometimes Kazu’s mind just ran to his mother without any real reason. Nagase sighed as he picked him up to be able to look directly to his face. 

“I don’t know, Kazu. But I’m sure she got the message,” he replied as he hugged him a bit tighter. They entered their apartment complex, and Nagase let Kazu open the letterbox. He looked them over to chuck the ads into the trash. He blinked in surprise when he saw a letter addressed to Kazunari and bit his lips before he told the boy. He should check the letter first to make sure it wasn’t something hurtful. 

“Since it’s just us tonight you are allowed to decide what you want to do, alright?”

“Movie night?” Kazu asked, hopefully. He knew that Satoshi and Sho were in the cinema today and he was envious that he wasn’t allowed to go because he was still too young for the movie. 

“Sounds like a plan. We can make popcorn if you want?”

“Yes!” Kazu cried happily as they entered their apartment, and he was put down to change out of his shoes and the coat.

“I have to prepare for dinner. Why don’t you go to your room to play?” he asked Kazu who nodded and went to his room to greet his beloved stuffed toys and play with them. 

Nagase sat down on the table in the kitchen to open the letter addressed to Kazu. He had already prepared everything for dinner so that he only had to start the oven. He smiled as he looked at the letter and decided that it was perfect for Kazu. He had already prepared a note for his adopted son as an answer from his mother, but it seemed as if a kind-hearted person had found Kazu’s card and decided to write a beautiful heartfelt reply.

Nagase put the letter back and carefully closed it again before going to Kazu’s room. He knocked on the half-open door with a smile when Kazu looked up from where he was playing a game with his dog. 

“You got a letter, little one,” he explained. 

“A letter? Me?!” Kazu asked with a gasp and jumped to his feet. 

“Yes, you,” Nagase answered with a small laugh and picked him up. “Let’s read it in the living room.” 

Kazu nodded excitedly as he hugged him around the neck when they sat down. Nagase gave him the letter, and Kazu opened it very carefully. He looked over the oscillated letters without really understanding anything. On the second piece of paper was a beautiful rainbow in the sky.

“Read for me?”

“Of course, little one.”

_My dear beloved son,  
I love you as well more than anything else in the world. Don’t worry about me, my little one. I have a beautiful place here in heaven and can watch over you. I will protect you from here and if you ever feel lonely, look to the sky and remember that I’m there. In the night I’m a star, watching you sleep and being happy and grow up. I hope you’ll grow up a cheerful young man. Sadly I can never put my arms around you anymore, but I’m sure that Tomo is able to love you just as much as I do. I’ve chosen him as your new guardian. So listen well to him. _

_Also, my beloved son, I will be happy to watch you grow up. Please, stop trying to find me. I won’t be able ever to come back. I know it’s hard and that you miss me very much. You are allowed to think of me as much as you want. Look at the stars and know that one of them is me, watching over you. I love you now and forever._

_Thank you so much for writing me a letter to let me know you are well._

_With love,  
Mummy _

Kazu looked at the letter with big eyes and then up again. “Mummy is okay?” he asked softly. 

Nagase smiled and kissed his forehead. “It seems like it. She misses you, ne? But you don’t have to worry about her anymore. That’s good right?”

Kazu nodded slightly and looked at the picture again. He hugged Nagase and snuggled close to him. “Mummy made sure you found me ne?”

Nagase laughed softly and hugged him close. “It looks like that. And she is right. I love you very much and will hug you if you miss her hugs,” he promised as he closed the arms around him a little tighter. 

Kazu smiled softly as he hid his face at Nagase’s chest. He still missed his mother very much. He felt sad thinking about her. But it was nice to know that she wasn’t hurt anymore and the thought that she was looking after him felt good as well. “Can we watch the stars tonight?” He asked, shyly. He knew that he was supposed to be in bed by the time, but he hoped he was allowed. 

“Okay, just for today because tomorrow is no nursery,” Nagase allowed and kissed his forehead. “Let’s pin your letter and the picture on your wall and then we’ll have dinner and the movie night?” Nagase asked him softly. 

Kazu grinned as he nodded happily.


	5. Chapter 5

Nagase heaved a big sigh as he closed the door to Kazu’s bedroom. The small boy had finally fallen to sleep again. Nagase opened the door to Satoshi’s room slightly, praying that the older boy was still fast asleep and hadn’t woken up by the cries of his smaller brother. He smiled relieved when he saw that Satoshi was still dead to the world and closed it again behind him before going to the living room. He fell on the sofa with his had in his hands. 

He took a deep sigh and tried to calm down his nerves. The week had been awful. It was one of those times where Nagase didn’t know if he had chosen the right path of career. Being a social caseworker wasn’t the most straightforward job. He had known this all the time. There was a reason why those children needed help outside of their families, and it never was a nice reason, after all. 

Still, some weeks were rougher than others. He still felt terrible for putting Kazu through all the stress with his last client and fitting in at the juvenile centre wasn’t that easy. He was used to another kind of work, after all. 

Nagase’s eyes burnt as he remembered the fear in Kazu’s eyes when he had woken up and clung to him. He wanted Kazu to feel safe here, and somehow, he felt as if he had failed in a way. He knew that it would probably go back on track but thinking about how bad his little boy felt hurt a lot. Nagase was worried that the fear never left Kazu and that the boy would never be able to enjoy life to the fullest without fearing something might jump from the shadows to hurt him. 

He also feared that he wasn’t taking care of Satoshi enough because of Kazu. Kazu still needed more help than Satoshi ever had, and he wasn’t sure that he managed to give them both all the love they needed to grow up to healthy and happy young men.

Nagase bit his lip as he felt tears sliding over his cheeks. He had never wanted to have children as he was sure he wasn’t fit to raise them so much. He hadn’t had the best of examples, after all. His father was unknown as far as he knew - he had never really cared for finding out more - and his mother had abandoned him to the orphanage when he had been small himself because she had felt that he was a nuisance. 

“God…” he grumbled when he wiped his cheeks close. He usually wasn’t that emotional, but it was all a little bit much, Nagase thought with a wry smile as he got up to get a beer from the fridge. He clearly needed it for today with his messed up head, he thought with a small sigh, as he settled down on the sofa again, putting on low music. Going back to sleep was not possible for the moment, he knew. It would only make his mind worse.

His eyes wandered over to clock on the wall, and he was surprised to see that it was only eleven pm. Without even thinking properly, he grabbed his phone to call Samantha. The woman should still be up since it was a weekend. 

Nagase felt his shoulders relax slowly when after three rings the right now, the angelic voice of his girlfriend answered the phone. Yes, he remembered, he wasn’t all that alone, and he was glad that the woman cared enough for all to them to listen to him and share his sorrows.


	6. Chapter 6

“Kazu?”

“Yes, Toshi?” Kazu asked as he looked up from the paper he was drawing on. He tilted his head to a side curiously and watched the older boy with bright, happy eyes.

“Why don#t you call, dad daddy or something like that?”

“Tomo isn’t my daddy,” Kazu said with a frown on his face that clearly stated that he was slightly confused because of the question. “Tomo is Tomo. My daddy is my daddy,” he then said further, his voice quivering slightly on the word ‘daddy’.

Satoshi bit his lip as he saw how Kazu got smaller and looked around nervously, almost as if the boy feared that the man would jump out from the shadows. He scooted closer to his little brother to hug him tightly. 

“He isn’t a daddy,” Satoshi said with a grimace as he swayed Kazu in his arms to calm him down. “Daddies are supposed to hug you when you cry and to protect you when you are scared and to make you laugh and go out with you,” he explained. “All the things that dad does with us. He is a real daddy.” 

Kazu shook his head slightly and bit his lip. When he thought of his daddy, he could only see the scary man that had hit him or yelled at him when he had done something wrong, whatever it was. Kazu had never really understood what he had done wrong when his daddy had been angry with him and his mommy. His daddy had never hugged him as Tomo did.

“Tomo can’t be daddy,” he whispered and looked to the floor. “I already have a daddy, and I can’t have a second one.” 

Satoshi frowned slightly at his words, not really understanding them, but he realised that Kazu got really worked up about it all and for that he was sorry. 

“But he is our adopted dad,” he tried again. “He adopted us that makes him our father.”

“Tomo is Tomo,” Kazu said with a shake of his head and looked up. “I don’t want Tomo to become my daddy. I’m scared he will be like my daddy then,” he said slowly with a scrunched up place. It was complicated for him to explain his thoughts. It always had been, but all people told him it was okay if he called Tomo Tomo and not daddy or dad or something like that. 

“But you aren’t scared about me calling him dad? Or the other dads of your friends?”

Kazu shook his head and tugged at his fingers without really realising. “No, I just can’t say daddy to him,” he mumbled with a sigh. “I get scared when I try. Tomo is much nicer than daddy ever was. I want him to stay that Tomo.”

Satoshi smiled as he hugged him as tight as he could without hurting him. “Okay, I understand I think… I’m sorry if I made you sad, Kazu.”

Kazu shook his head as he snuggled closer to him. He wasn’t really sad, just a bit upset but Satoshi’s hug was warm and comforting.

“I never want to see my daddy again,” he whispered in the end.

Satoshi nodded as he played with his hair. He felt the same with his father, still. He couldn’t think of visiting him even if he knew that his father would like that. His father always tried to contact him, Nagase had told him, but for as long as Satoshi wouldn’t tell him he wanted to read one of those letters, he didn’t have to, and that was good. 

He sighed a little as he played with Kazu’s soft locks as he still felt him shivering slightly against his arms. He didn’t know what Kazu had lived through at home, and he didn’t want to, even if it made him a terrible brother, but he knew it had been wrong.

Satoshi carefully untangled one arm of Kazu to ruffle his hair when he realised that the smaller boy was nibbling at his thumb and grabbed his pen. “Shall I draw something for you, Kazu?”

“Can you draw Lulu?” Kazu asked, hopefully. 

“I try,” Satoshi promised as he took a new piece of paper to draw their neighbour's dog and Kazu playing the best he could. He felt Kazu relaxing against him as he watched Satoshi’s hand move over the paper curiously.


	7. Chapter 7

"What's up?" Samantha asked as she put a cup of coffee in front of Nagase. Nagase looked up with a surprised look on his face. He hadn't realised that she was already finished. Samantha smiled, warmly at him when she sat down beside him. 

"I thought we could take a holiday together? You, me and the boys?" he asked with a small frown on his face as he took the cup of coffee to take a sip sighing happily at the warmth spreading out in him. "To get to know each other even more?"

"You think the boys might be ready for it?" she asked with a worried face. They took their relationship very slow. Nagase made sure that she was a regular presence in the life of the boys, but at the same time, they had never stayed over at each other's apartments. Yes, the children had already slept over at hers, whenever the workload had been too much for Nagase and the one time Kazu had felt too scared to be at home but that were big exceptions. Samantha was worried about how they might react if they found her in the kitchen or somewhere when it should be Nagase.

"I think a holiday would be a good start at least," he answered with a smile and moved closer to press a kiss to her lips. "You are already so patient, and I'd like for us to spend some more time together. Also, I would feel more comfortable with you around her," he said honestly. 

"Where did you want to go?"

"Japan. I thought it might be good to show them where they are from. And for me as well in a way? I have never been back," he said with a small shrug. He had never wanted to. All bad memories lay there, but he knew that it was terrible to continue hiding from them. Bad for him and the children.

Samantha took his hand and gave it a little squeeze before nodding slightly. "Sounds like a nice idea. I heard it's a beautiful land."

"It is, I suppose," Nagase laughed softly. He couldn't remember fully if he was honest. "So over the summer holidays?"

"Yeah… I can take time off, and my boss told me that he is flexible because my colleague already put in when he wants to go, and it's after the school holidays. So I can take whenever I want."

"Thank you. I will check when we can go and call you?"

"Sounds perfect," she answered before leaning against his side and closing her eyes at his warmth while he drank his coffee in silence for a moment. "Thank you for trusting me so much," she said after a while, making Nagase smile.

"I love you, so it comes naturally," he teased slightly. She looked up at him, laughing slightly at the embarrassed look on his face. It was a surprising thing to hear how open and perfect he could be with both of his sons and how shy and reluctant he was when he was only around her.

"That's a good thing then. What about the move you were planning?" 

"I looked at a few houses I'd like to get. I think I found a good one, with a big garden and it's not far from public transportation so that Satoshi can go to school alone. I put up an offer and have to wait if it gets through. I hope it'll work though. It would be perfect now that Satoshi has to change to the middle school and we could try to get him in one locally to the house."

"If he wants…"

"He is fine with any, he says. Sho would be going to a private school for international students because his parents still haven't decided if they will stay in Germany until their children's education is over or if they would move again if his father's job asked. Satoshi knows how hard the school is and decided early on that it wasn't something he wanted to do. He wants to meet up with Sho regularly and his other friends who mostly go to different schools."

"So many changes now," she mused slightly, and Nagase nodded. He was glad that school wouldn't start for another year for Kazu since he could concentrate most of his attention on Satoshi that way to make sure that this transition would be a safe one for the boy. "You worry about Satoshi?"

"Of course, changes are already big on their own. Now, this is the first big one since his mother died. It might overstrain him in a way. That's why I also think a big holiday would be good."

"That's true. So then we'll go. You should ask at your work for the holiday soon to make sure that we can go this year." 

"I will. Don't worry," Nagase laughed softly. He was thankful that Samantha would go with them and not argue with him because she hadn't been asked before he made the decisions. He bent down to kiss her full lips, gaining a surprised gasp. "I promise the next holiday you can plan and we'll go wherever you want."

"Sicily," she grinned then, and he laughed a little, he knew already about her dream to visit there at least once. "When do you have to get Kazu?"

"Half an hour. Do you want to come? We could have dinner all together."

She thought about it for a moment, before nodding. "Sounds good. That way I don't have to cook," she decided with a frown. She hated cooking, which amused Nagase to no end since he felt cooking relaxing in a way and liked doing it whenever he had the time.


	8. Chapter 8

It was early in the morning when Nagase proceeded to wake up his sons. He smiled when Kazu blinked up at him in confusion but readily held out his arms to be picked up. 

“Good morning, Tomo,” he said sleepily as he hugged him around the neck. “There were no accidents tonight.” Nagase could feel the happiness and wonder radiating off of him at those words, making him smile softly.

“That’s great, little one,” he said as he brought him to the bathroom to help him wash and change into the clothes Kazu had chosen the day before: A dark blue pair of shorts and a yellow shirt with a small penguin on the bottom. 

“We are going shopping today. That’s why I woke you up early,” he explained, and Kazu nodded in understanding. Going early meant that the shops weren’t so full. Something that he preferred.

“Why?”

“That’s a surprise. I’ll tell you when Satoshi is up. How about you wake him and I make breakfast today? A full breakfast with eggs, toast, bacon, mushrooms and tomatoes,” he said with a grin when Kazu cried out in joy. The boy kissed his cheek before almost jumping off his arms and darting off to Satoshi’s room.

There Kazu climbed up to the bed and poked Satoshi’s cheek carefully but with a cheeky grin on his face. Satoshi grumbled slightly as he moved to the side with a small grumble. Kazu chuckled softly as he poked him again. “Toshi, the sun is up. It is morning. Tomo is making us breakfast,” he explained as he moved down to hug him tightly and poked his cheek, again and again, to make him wake up.

“Toshi, wakey, wakey,” he sang with a giggle when Satoshi finally opened his eyes to look at him with a small groan rubbing his face. 

“I’m up, I’m up, little rascal,” he said as his fingers found Kazu’s side and he wandered under his shirt to tickle the smaller boy until he was a giggling mess on top of him. 

“Good morning, Toshi!!” 

“Good morning, Kazu, why are you waking me up at this hour?”

“Because Tomo said so. He made us a big breakfast, and we will go shopping. There will be a surprise, but he won’t tell me without you there, so you have to get up,” he explained as he again poked his cheek only to giggle when Satoshi mock growled before tickling him back.

“You’re a poking monster,” he said before sitting up. “But you managed to get me up. So how about you climb off of me so that I can go to the bathroom and change?”

“Okay! But hurry,” he ordered Satoshi with a glint in his eyes and moved forward to plant a kiss on Satoshi’s cheek before jumping from the bed and running to the kitchen.

“Dad! No sugar for Kazu, he already has plenty of energy today,” Satoshi yelled with a laugh when he exited his room. 

“I want chocolate milk,” Kazu whined loudly in answer, making Nagase laugh at their antics. Satoshi grinned as he took his clothes to get ready in the bathroom. He was quite curious about that surprise as well.

Kazu stuck out his tongue when Satoshi entered the kitchen and could see that Kazu had gotten his chocolate milk as well as his breakfast already.

“Don’t do that or I will steal your tongue,” Satoshi warned playfully as he moved closer. Kazu giggled but put his hands before his mouth. 

“Nu-uh can’t do that.”

Nagase rolled his eyes as he put the plate with cooked breakfast in front of Satoshi before preparing his eggs. “What do you want to drink?”

“Juice,” Satoshi answered after a second, smiling when Nagase gave him a glass of orange juice before finishing up his plate and sitting down beside them.

“What’s the surprise, dad?”

“Samantha and I thought it would be nice to go on a vacation together,” Nagase explained after a few seconds of silent eating. “We will need to buy a few new clothes for that and you both would need a backpack or small suitcase,” he continued.

“Why?” Kazu asked curiously. “We didn’t buy that when we went to the beach. Will we go there again? I liked building sandcastles,” he said with bright eyes moving up and down in his chair with a hopeful look on his eyes.

“Maybe we could go to a beach while we are away,” Nagase explained thoughtfully. “But we will not go there this time again.”

“Dad, where will we go?” Satoshi asked when Kazu blinked just a bit confusedly.

“I thought it might be nice to show you both Japan. Samantha agrees to come with us, and we’ll have a holiday for two or three weeks there,” he explained softly.

Kazu made big eyes, and even Satoshi looked a bit surprised at these words. 

“Would you both like it?”

“Sounds fun,” Satoshi finally said, and Kazu nodded happily. 

“Mummy told me old stories about Japan. She liked it there,” he said softly. 

Nagase smiled lovingly as he ruffled his hair. “It is a nice country. We will travel around a bit, and I will lend a car for us there.”

“Yay,” Kazu said happily and clapped his hands before finishing his breakfast finally. 

—

Nagase lifted Kazu out from his seat and put him down on the floor. Kazu held the backpack where his dog was looking out and put it on his back with Satoshi’s help. 

Nagase ruffled his hair and then looked sternly at the boys. “As always, when we are shopping, I want you to stay close and tell me if you run off. Also, for Kazu, you should either walk in front of me or hold my or Satoshi’s hand. Can you promise that?”

Kazu nodded with big eyes and took Satoshi’s hand in his own. Nagase smiled before closing the door and bringing them to the first shop. 

Nagase made first sure that they had enough clothes for the kids, especially for Kazu who had grown quite a bit in the last few weeks. He was still a bit slimmer than Nagase would have liked, and people probably thought Kazu was younger than he was, but Nagase was happy that he was filling in actually.

“Tomo?” 

“Yes, Kazu?”

“Can we have a break? I’m thirsty,” he said with a small frown. 

“Of course,” Nagase nodded with a smile as he looked around. “There is a small coffee shop in this mall. How about we go there,” he said more to Satoshi, who nodded and led Kazu there. 

Kazu and Satoshi sat at a table with the bags at their feet as Nagase ordered them something to drink and some chips for them to share. 

“Thank you,” Kazu said as he took his water and took a big sip. He had been thirsty. Nagase nodded as he sat at their side, looking through their list. 

“You will need a new raincoat,” he said with a frown. 

“May I have a yellow one again?” Kazu asked with big eyes. He liked the colour, and he had loved his raincoat together with his frog umbrella. 

“Of course,” he promised with a smile. Nagase preferred his children to have bright coats or jackets so that they would be seen in the dark.

Kazu grinned as he ate his chips while Nagase drank his wear, watching them softly. “Can you wait here for me?” he asked finally when he had finished his water, but the children were still having half of theirs.

“Yep,” Satoshi said as he watched Kazu with a lifted eyebrow until he nodded while munching on another chip. 

“I’ll listen to Toshi,” he promised.

“Good boy. I will take the bags to the car then and come back. Then we look for your raincoat and two travel bags for you,” he explained. 

“Okay!”

Kazu and Satoshi stayed at their table eating and drinking and talking about the vacation. Kazu frowned slightly in the end, making Satoshi poke him slightly.

“What’s up?”

“Sammi will come with us, right?”

“Yes, dad told us, right? Why don’t you want her to come?”

“I do. But, we never have been together for so long,” he mumbled.

“True but I believe that dad likes her. Perhaps she will move in with us in the future, and they might marry in future,” he explained.

Kazu frowned a bit at those words but nodded in understanding.

“Would you mind?”

“I don’t think so. I like it when Tomo is happy.”

Satoshi grinned and ruffled his hair. “Me too.” He said with a grin and waved to Nagase when he came back. 

Nagase lifted an eyebrow at his grins. “What did you do?”

“Nothing,” they denied with a frown but also with a little giggle as they shared a look and finished their drinks. 

Nagase watched them for a second longer but then shrugged it off and brought them to get another raincoat and then to the bag shop. Satoshi and Kazu ran right to the top where small suitcases were put for them. Ohno looked around with curious eyes while Nagase took Kazu’s hand. He would prefer for him to get a case he could pull and also sit on when he got tired.

“Tomo, may I get that?” Kazu asked, suddenly pulling at his arm to get his attention. He pointed his fingers at a little backpack that was formed like a penguin with bright, sparkling eyes. 

Nagase looked at it with a small laugh before nodding. “Okay, it’s cute ne?” Kazu giggled with a nod before he took it in his arms when Nagase picked it up to hand it over. “Look Kazu I want you to choose one of those. You can pull them, and if you are tired of walking, you can sit on them while we pull it.”

“It’s a dog,” Kazu said with a happy smile as he looked them over and finally ran over to the cases. He patted its head with a small giggle. “May I have that one please?”

Nagase smiled as he picked Kazu up and put him on the back of the suitcase Kazu held on the ears as his feet swayed back and front. “Comfy?”

Kazu nodded as he climbed down again and managed to open it with a bit of fiddling. Nagase looked over the constructions and saw that it had a mattress also so that they could make it into a bed on the plane which was suitable for the long trip he supposed. It was only supposed for children until four to be used as a bed, but since Kazu was still small, it should be fine.

“Good, then how about you bring your things to the register and I look after Satoshi?”

“Okay,” Kazu grinned as he put the new backpack in the dog before closing it and bringing it over to the register pulling out the bag and presenting it to the woman there. 

“And did you find something you like?” Nagase asked as he put a hand on his shoulder. 

“I want that one?” he explained and pulled down a suitcase that was formed like a little fox. It was pull-able and just the perfect size for hand luggage.

“If you like it we’ll buy it. Do you want another backpack?”

“No, but I want that shoulder back that looks like a whale,” he said with slightly red cheeks. 

“Okay, good with me,” Nagase said and helped him to bring the things over to the register where the woman rang everything up and then paid for it. They brought everything back to the car where Kazu fell to sleep shortly after he was put into his seat, dreaming of their hopefully lovely vacation.


	9. Chapter 9

Satoshi looked around for Nagase as he entered the living room. Kazu was taking his afternoon nap, and he wanted to spend a bit of time with Nagase alone.

“Hey Satoshi, do you want tea?” Nagase asked as he heard Satoshi in the living room looking at him curiously. 

“Yes, please.”

Nagase nodded as he vanished again and prepared them. When he came back with the tea and some cake for them, Satoshi’s eyes lightened up at that treat, and he knelt in front of the low table to dig in. 

“How are you doing?” Nagase asked, and Satoshi shrugged slightly.

“Good, term is almost over as well,” he said with a small grin. He was sad to let go of his old school, but he was also excited to start a new one. 

“That reminds me,” Nagase said softly and with a frown on his face. “Do you have a favourite school in mind where you want to go?”

Satoshi shook his head as he put the fork in his mouth. “I only know that I don’t want to go to the same school Sho does. I’m not good enough in English and at school in general,” he said with a small frown. He didn’t mind that he wasn’t a student that brought back home the best marks, but he was good enough that he didn’t feel bad about it.

“I see. You know, I thought about moving again. This apartment has a few bad memories attached to it now.”

Satoshi frowned but nodded. It had happy memories as well but also bad ones. “Where do we want to move, though?”

“I thought at the outer part of the city, into a small house with a small garden for you to run around,” he explained.

“And for the dog?” Ohno asked with a bright smile on his face.

Nagase laughed but nodded. “I think it would be a nice birthday present for Kazu, don’t you?”

“Yes,” he giggled a bit and leant back when he was finished with the cake to take the mug into his hands. 

“Dad?”

“Yes?”

“Will Samantha move in? Will you marry?”

Nagase smiled and ruffled his hair softly. “Samantha and I haven’t talked about that yet. But maybe in the far future. Let’s first see how the vacation thing works.”

Satoshi smiled and nodded, Nagase was clearly nervous about that moving in together and for a second Satoshi feared it was just because of him and Kazu but nothing until now has been so he tried not to be too worried about it.

“Satoshi, it’s too early for that. We both agree we have to make sure we work together well. All four of us.”

“Okay,” he agreed after a moment as Nagase hugged him softly.

“Then I will look for the house and look for schools close-by, sounds good?”

“Very.” Satoshi gave a small grin as he drank his tea with a little secret smile. It was strange to think about possible future things, but it was also very exciting somehow.


	10. Chapter 10

Nagase bent down to catch Kazu who came running up to him. He picked the small boy up and let him hide his face against his neck with a little loving smile as he stroke the back of his head. Kazu was hugging him close around the neck and pressed his face hard against the soft cloth his shirt was made off. 

“Hey, little one, what’s wrong?” he asked. 

“Nothing,” Kazu mumbled as he moved back to look at him with a bright smile on his face. 

Nagase lifted an eyebrow but rubbed his cheek softly as he could spot a bit of dirt clinging to it. “Then why did you run as something bad happened?”

Kazu shrugged softly as he put his head down on his shoulder again. Now more softly and almost sleepily as he smiled. “Because I trusted that you would catch me,” he said with a small hesitant smile on his face. “Tomo always hugs me and makes sure I’m alright without having to ask first,” he whispered, and Nagase hugged him a little bit closer. 

“Of course, you are my precious little son,” he said and pressed a kiss to his soft hair. 

Kazu’s smile got bigger at his words, and he closed his eyes sleepily. He trusted that Tomo wouldn’t let him fall. The same with Satoshi. Kazu had learnt that he could just come to them whenever he was sad, and they would hug him and make him feel better without him having to explain anything about why he felt upset. Most of the time, Kazu didn’t even know himself, so really that was his saving grace. 

“Are you tired?”

“You are warm and comfy,” Kazu replied instead of answering his question, and Nagase chuckled slightly. 

“Kazu, what do you think about moving?” he asked the small boy as he brought him to his room to put him to bed. 

“Kazu has to go away?” the boy asked with big scared eyes. Nagase shook his head and put a strand of hair behind his ear.

“Of course not. If we move, we all move together. I thought that you and Satoshi would like to move to a bigger house? Somewhere where you both have a bigger room and with a garden,” he explained.

Kazu scrunched up his nose as he climbed on his lap. “Will others stay with us again?”

“No, I promised you there wouldn’t right?”

“Uhn, you promised,” Kazu repeated in a small voice.

“So I won’t change it, I promise. The only people staying over would be your or Satoshi’s friends, like Sho, you know?”

“Sleep-overs? I like Sho,” Kazu nodded with a grin. “Or when Erika stayed,” he added thoughtfully. They had hot chocolate with marshmallows in the evening and were allowed to stay up really long. It had been fun talking to her the whole night when they should have been asleep.

“Yes, like that,” Nagase smiled amusedly. He bopped Kazu’s nose and then hugged him again. Kazu still wasn’t able to sleep over at other houses besides Samantha, but it was okay, it got better each time. “Maybe even Samantha,” he added softly, before putting Kazu back to the bed to change his clothes.

“I like Sammi. She is nice,” Kazu whispered with a small smile on his face. “Almost as nice as my mommy,” he added almost shyly before biting his lips insecurely.

Nagase smiled as he put the boy down to the bed and the blanket over him. He knelt beside the bed and stroke his cheek. “That’s good,” he whispered. 

“But I like my mommy better,” Kazu added as he moved to the side to grab Nagase’s hand. “I will always love mommy best.”

“Yes, I know. Your mommy knows too. She loves you the most also. But I promise you that your mommy won’t be sad or mind if you decide to like another woman almost as much as your mommy. I’m sure she would be happy to know that there are still people you love and trust as you did her.”

“Do you love Sammi?”

“Yes, I do very much,” Nagase said softly, asking himself why they talked about that so suddenly.

Kazu watched him for a long time with a small frown on his face. Nagase just sat there, caressing his head and waiting for him to think it over and tell what was on his mind. Kazu always thought hard about things, and Nagase had learnt that it was better to wait for him to come to a conclusion of his own and then work from here then to offer him conclusions from the beginning on. 

“If you love her really much, maybe she can live with us? I don’t mind her to become my almost mommy like you are my almost daddy,” he said with another hesitant smile on his face. 

Nagase smiled as he bent down to kiss his forehead. “Maybe she will one day, but until then we will still have time to think about it, I promise,” he whispered. “And I’m sure she would be just as honoured as I am to have you as her son.”

“I love you, Tomo,” Kazu whispered finally and hugged his arm slightly as he fell slowly to sleep. Nagase smiled as he stroke his hair to put a kiss on top of it again. 

“And I love you, my little one,” he whispered before carefully making his way out of the room to let Kazu take his nap.


	11. Chapter 11

Kazu held tightly on Nagase's hand when they entered the airport and looked around the large hall they were standing in now. There were lots of people around, and all seemed to shove each other, and with the big suitcases, it was all scary. Kazu was sure some of them were bigger than he was. 

Nagase looked at Kazu who had frozen in the entryway and carefully pushed him further into the airport. "Kazu everything okay?"

Kazu shook his head, holding him even tighter and Nagase frowned slightly at the pain he felt from his fingers, gripping him tightly. 

He looked around, but he knew that Satoshi couldn't look after Kazu because he had to fight with his suitcase as he made sure not to be run over. He put his hand on Kazu's hair as he pulled him closer as he tried to balance the two suitcases with their clothes and the small one that belonged to Kazu as to not lose them. 

Samantha knelt beside them and made Kazu look at her. "Are you scared?" she asked softly. Kazu nodded with small tears in his eyes.

"Too many people it's loud," he said with a soft whine. 

She nodded with a small frown on her face. Nagase looked down for a second before looking after Satoshi again. He had forgotten how full these airports were, and he felt sorry for not thinking it through better. 

"Satoshi stay with us," he asked and the boy who seemed to space out a bit as he looked around. Satoshi blinked at being addressed and realised that he was straying away from the group. He walked back and pulled the fox-suitcase behind. "Okay, we have to stay in line. Kazu are you ready to go?"

Kazu shook his head, grabbing on his trousers. Samantha sighed as she ruffled his hair and stood for a second to pull on her second bag and then held out her hands. "Come on; I carry you. Tomo has to bring two big cases he can't pick you up."

"Really?" he asked hopefully, and she nodded with a smile. 

"Yes, come on." Kazu looked at Nagase, who nodded before he let him go and let himself be picked up by the woman. He grabbed her around the neck and put his legs around her waist when she put him to the side of her hips and told him to hold on.

He hid his face against her hair to not see anybody anymore. "You smell like coconut and strawberries," he mumbled, and she laughed softly. 

"Do you like it? I got new shampoo."

"Yes it's nicer than mine," he mumbled, and she carefully put a hand under his bum to hold him up and be able to drag her suitcase with the other hand until they were finally in line. There he could put both of her arms around him and hold him up while they slowly move forward.

Kazu slowly relaxed again and looked around from his hiding place. He sometimes looked at Satoshi with a giggle because each time he did, the boy seemed to realise him looking and made funny faces for him. Nagase smiled relieved and happy about how relaxed Kazu was around her and tried not to feel too emotional to realise how used, and comfortable Kazu felt around Samantha.

Yes, he played and talked a lot to her each time they met, and he laughed a lot, but he never ran up to her to snuggle up to her or something. So it warmed his heart to see her hold one of his beloved children so lovingly and take care of him. When they were in the front to check-in, and the big suitcases were gone, he looked at them both. 

"Kazu still okay there? Or do you want to come to me?"

Kazu shook his head as he hugged Samantha a bit more tightly. "Sammi is warm," He mumbled, making her laugh softly as she moved him. 

"Is it okay for you?"

"Yes but if you could take my bag though?" Nagase nodded and helped her take it off and took Kazu's case as well so that they could go through the security check with Satoshi at his side who was humming slightly to himself. 

When they finally made it all through the mass of people slowly got less, and Kazu was ready to be put down again he took the handle of his case to pull it around beside Satoshi, giggling as the dog followed him through the hallways. Nagase smiled amusedly when Satoshi and Kazu tried to race each other as they slowly made it to the gate and their plane.

—

They had two two-seaters right behind each other and Nagase helped Kazu to the window seat before sitting down beside him with Satoshi and Samantha behind them. Kazu held to his dog toy as he looked out of the window, feeling nervous once again. Nagase softly made sure that he was all buckled in stroking his back to calm him down. 

"Your ears will feel funny when we start, but you can look outside, and it will go away, I promise," he explained. Kazu nodded as he watched the people running around in the aisle before the plane began to move. He cried out in surprise, hugging his doggie closer but Nagase very soon started to show him things outside so that he was distracted. Kazu whined a little when they began because of his ears, but soon they were all up and allowed to lose the buckles. Nagase helped him before pulling him on his lap for a bit. "Are you okay?"

Kazu nodded sleepily and leant against Nagase. "I'm sleepy," he mumbled with a frown. Nagase chuckled softly before nodding. 

"It's late already ne?" he asked as Kazu rubbed his eyes. The good thing about direct flights between Germany and Japan was that they started in the evening. That way the kids were able to sleep most of it, hopefully at least. He had also booked th slightly more expensive seats so that they had enough room and no strangers right beside them. "Do you want to sleep?"

Kazu nodded with a small yawn. 

"Okay then let's make you a bed?"

"Yes please," Kazu nodded as Nagase put him down on his seat before kneeling and preparing the bed from the suitcase they bought. He put up the barriers so that Kazu wouldn't fall out of the bed and then helped the boy to take off his shoes and carried him over to the other two. 

"Say goodnight, little one," he said with a smile. 

"Goodnight," Kazu repeated before being kissed on his cheeks by both of them. He giggled when he hugged first Kazu and then Samantha before letting himself being carried over and put down on the makeshift bed. Nagase was glad when he saw that it was still the perfect size for Kazu and put a blanket over him before making sure he had his doggie o cuddle with. 

"Do you want a story?"

Kazu nodded at the question, eyes already halfway closed now that all the excitement about the travel was gone from his small body. Still, Nagase pulled out a storybook to read to the boy until he was truly asleep.

He got up again to change places with Samantha for a bit and talk to Satoshi to check f he was okay r needed anything. "I want to draw the clouds," Satoshi said with a grin. "They look fluffy. And like really nice resting places for angels," he whispered longingly. He didn't honestly believe that their mothers were angels sitting on clouds, but sometimes he couldn't help himself his wishful thinking.

"Then you draw what you want," Nagase said with a smile and ruffling his hair. "You can order anything you also want when they come around and ask, okay?"

"Yup! Thank you, dad." 

"I will go over to Kazu again so that he doesn't get scared if he wakes. Tell Samantha or me if you need something or want to move around or sleep, okay? I will be there the second you need me to."

"I know, don't worry. Samantha and I are good, and I have my blanket here if I want to sleep."

Nagase rolled his eyes and bopped his nose. "I will always worry about you," he said.

Satoshi giggled and hugged him for a second. "I'm fine. I might not be in Japan, but I know you are here hat will make it better," he said earnestly. Nagase kissed his head as he nodded slightly.

"Okay." Nagase changed seats again to sit beside Kazu who was still asleep and took a book to read a bit. When he looked back after a while, he saw that Satoshi had gone to sleep also with a slight chuckle. 

When both woke up again hours later, Nagase changed places with Satoshi so that the boys could play until the flight was over. They were all tired, so Nagase was glad when they managed to leave the airport without a problem and take a cab to the hotel they would stay at for the first few days.


	12. Chapter 12

Kazu looked around with huge eyes as they entered the hotel room they would stay in. It had two twin beds, but there wasn’t much space beside that. Still, he ran to the window before anybody could stop him dragging his dog case behind him. 

“Look, look we are so high up!” he yelled as he pressed his face against the window to get a proper look outside. Nagase smiled at the excitement as he put down the suitcases on one side of the room. Then he helped Satoshi get rid of his cases and allowed him to look outside as well. 

Samantha chuckled softly when she closed the door, looking at Nagase, who smiled a little at the antics of the children. She got closer to him and hugged him softly. 

“Are you okay?” she asked him as he stiffened for a second at her touch. He sighed before nodding. 

“Yes, just bad memories. I never wanted to come back when I went to that exchange,” he said sheepishly. This trip wasn’t just for the boys to see where they came from but also for him to close those abandon issues to rest. 

“If you need anyone to talk, I’m here, okay?”

“Yes, thank you,” he said before kissing her brow. He smiled at her and then went over to Satoshi and Kazu. 

Satoshi looked up curiously with a happy smile in his eyes. “If you think this will high you will be stunned when we visit the sky tree,” he said. “Samantha and I have to tell you something.”

“What is it, dad?” Satoshi asked with a frown as he turned around fully to also look at the woman in question who chuckled softly at his worried look. 

“Since hotels in Japan are expensive and we wanted to spend our money on other sights rather than the hotels we always only booked one room for us all to share.”

“So Sam will sleep with us?” Satoshi asked curiously. Kazu looked at the adults as well, when Nagase nodded.

“Yes, we can still change it if you are not okay with it. But I would be happy if we could stay together in one room,” he explained. 

“Okay,” Satoshi nodded, smiling at Samantha, who smiled back relieved. Kazu was still looking from one to the other and then to Satoshi again. 

“Will we sleep in one bed?” he asked with a frown. 

“No, you and Satoshi can sleep in one bed, and I’ll sleep with Samantha in the other bed. Or do you want to sleep with Samantha or me?”

Kazu shook his head with wide eyes as he looked happy to Satoshi. Sharing with Satoshi was special as he was only allowed on the weekends from time to time. 

Nagase laughed softly as he ruffled his hair and stood again. “So do you two need a nap? Or do you want to go out, look around for a bit and find a place to eat?” he asked curiously.

“I want to go play,” Kazu said, jumping up and down. “We sat all the time on the plane.” There was a pout on his face at these words to which Nagase laughed. 

“Then we should go to the park. There are playgrounds for you to play, and we can then go somewhere to eat. Sounds good?”

“Yup!” Kazu said happily as he grabbed Satoshi’s hand to tug him along. “Playing, playing,” he sang as they ran out of the room with Satoshi in tow.

“Don’t disturb others,” Nagase scolded lightly as he followed them with Samantha, who was laughing silently. “So no yelling outside.”

“Yeeees~” Kazu answered in a sort of whisper while hiding his giggling face as he pressed the button for the elevator. Nagase rolled his eyes as they reached the boys. He had forgotten how energetic Kazu could sometimes be. 

They went to the park where Satoshi and Kazu ran around to try all the games there, allowing Nagase and Samantha to sit at the side watching them. It took them over an hour to convince the children to take a walk to look at the park for any sights or temples there were. 

“Tomo, my feet are tired,” Kazu whined as he tugged at his hand.

“Oh, what should we do now?” Nagase asked overly worried as he tickled the boy who giggled slightly. Nagase smiled as he realised that Kazu was not yet grumpy and picked him up to put him on his shoulder. 

“Hold on and no swinging your legs,” he added as Kazu started to move excitedly on top of him, kicking him accidentally.

“Yes, sorry Tomo,” he said as he held on Nagase who held his legs to make sure that he didn’t fall. They followed Satoshi and Samantha, who were looking at a few flowers and Buddha statues while laughing about something. 

Satoshi looked up when they were close, grinning up to Kazu. “How is it there?” he asked in a teasing voice that went totally over Kazu’s head as he grinned down brightly. 

“I can see everything. I’m so big right now! Bigger than Tomo,” he giggled, jumping a bit on Nagase’s shoulders who winced slightly. 

Samantha put a hand on his back to stop him softly and rubbed the small of Kazu’s back who calmed down with the warm touch. “As you are so tall now can you see a nice spot for us to eat? I’m sure I heard a monster growling in your tummy,” she said when on cue Kazu’s stomach growled. 

Kazu giggled as he poked his stomach slightly before looking around and pointing in a direction. “There, there,” he said. “Tomo see, there are noodles.”

Nagase looked up a bit, being careful as to not dislodge Kazu before following the other two to the shop Kazu had apparently seen.


	13. Chapter 13

Nagase woke early the next morning rubbing his eyes tiredly. They had fallen to sleep early that night still tired from the long walk and flight the day before. 

He sighed as he moved in the bed stretching a little before smiling as his eyes fell on Samantha still sleeping peacefully beside him. It was the first time they shared a bed, and for him, at least it had been a wonderful night. He looked over to the children who were still asleep and then kissed his girlfriend awake softly. He wanted to wake the children alone today to make sure that they were okay. 

“Is it morning already?” Samantha asked with a small yawn. 

“Yes, sorry to wake you so early,” he whispered, and she shook her head with a smile before reciprocating his kisses. “It’s fine. I’m in the bath, okay?”

“Uhn, I’ll wake the children,” Nagase whispered, and with a last kiss, Samantha stood finally leaving him alone to deal with Kazu and Satoshi. 

He stood to sit down on the bed beside the others before waking them lovingly. Satoshi grumbled a little bit as he burrowed his face deeper in the pillows at this. Nagase chuckled slightly before looking at Kazu, who opened his eyes sleepily. Kazu always answered to being woken up much easier than Satoshi. 

“Good morning, little one, how did you sleep?” he asked as he helped Kazu to shrug off the blanket and climb to his lap. 

“Good morning, Tomo,” Kazu said with a bright smile. “I dreamt I could fly on a dragon, and then I danced with a penguin,” he giggled at the memories, making Nagase wonder what kind of things Kazu’s mind came up with. 

“Sounds like a fun dream,” he said with an amused smile before ruffling his hair. “Samantha is in the bathroom do you want to join her and get ready?”

“Uhn.” Kazu giggled before pressing a kiss to Nagase’s cheek and climbing down to run to the bathroom and tell Samantha all about his dream. Nagase smiled when he could hear them talk and Samantha making al the right noises as Kazu explained what happened to him in the dream.

“Loud,” Satoshi complained as he looked up from his pillow with a tired groan. Nagase laughed as he caressed his hair. 

“Still tired?”

Satoshi shrugged as he sat up, rubbing his face. He wasn’t that tired anymore, but he loved to sleep as long as possible. 

“Did Kazu keep you up?” Nagase asked worriedly at the sight of him. 

“No, Kazu was all cuddly, and I only woke once when he went to the bathroom,” Satoshi said with a small frown as he remembered how a foot had connected with his shin because Kazu had been a bit uncoordinated.

“I see, come here,” Nagase cooed in the end with a small amused chuckle when Satoshi slowly came closer. Satoshi grinned before snuggling up for a bit to wake up fully. 

“What will we do today?”

“That’s a secret,” Nagase teased, laughing at Satoshi’s pout. They stayed on the bed until Samantha and Kazu came out of the bathroom, freshly washed and entered the room when Kazu dragged Samantha over to chose clothes for today together. 

“Kazu likes Samantha,” Satoshi said softly. Nagase smiled at his words and nodded. 

“Yes, I’m glad.”

Satoshi grinned as he nodded. He was too because he liked Samantha very much as well. 

— 

Nagase helped Kazu to buckle up before getting in on the driver’s seat. Kazu held tightly to his doggie to look outside as Nagase drove them around town. It wasn’t a long drive until they were allowed out again. 

Kazu jumped out of the car before holding Nagase’s hand as they walked to a tall building that was shining brightly in the sun. Nagase talked to the people there before leading the others inside. 

When they stepped out of the elevator, Kazu looked around curiously still holding to Nagase as he remembered that he shouldn’t let go of an adults hand if they were out. 

“Where are we, dad?”

“We are at the observatory centre. Now we can watch Tokyo from high above,” Nagase explained.

Kazu grinned happily as they were led around and stopped at monitors on the floor. He looked down curiously touching the surface giggling when the image shifted slightly. He stood up as Nagase explained that they all have to jump to see a few sights in Tokyo and did as he was told while looking at how the scenes changed. It looked funny, but it also made his stomach feel a bit strange. 

“Tomo, up?” he asked as he stumbled after the third jump, making the older man smiled as he picked him up. 

“Let’s check over there, Kazu?” he asked as he carried him over to a hallway with holes in the wall. Kazu curiously looked through them, watching the images change there as he turned the bit that was sticking out. 

“It’s changing and so colourful and shiny,” Kazu said happily, before seeing more of the holes further down. “I want down and look at those.”

“Of course.” Nagase rolled his eyes slightly as he watched Kazu running from one hole to the other to look at all the kaleidoscopes he could reach. When Kazu looked up from the last one, he could see Satoshi make funny faces at strangely shaped mirrors and ran over to him instead of demanding to be lifted to check the other holes. 

He giggled when Satoshi hugged him from behind, putting his head on top of Kazu to make a few more faces as they tried to match the pictures placed on the mirrors before that got boring as well. 

Kazu went back to Nagase and Samantha who were looking around curiously to walk further through the observatory deck. There were different parts for them to discover and Kazu really wanted to go through all those hallways and rooms that looked like fun. 

“Tomo? Can we look out?” he asked, though, as the older bent down to pick him up again. 

“Of course,” Nagase promised when Satoshi came over, having spent enough time with the mirrors, for now, to join them as they went over to the huge windows where they could look down to the city. 

Kazu clang to Nagase as he felt as if he could fall. “It’s alright, Kazu,” Nagase promised as he touched the window softly with a fingertip. 

“Uhn,” Kazu mumbled not entirely convinced but leant forward just a tiny bit to look downstairs and around them to see all the things there were to see. “And we will visit it all?” he asked curiously.

Nagase smiled as he shook his head. “Not all but a lot. Come on, little one; Satoshi wants to see the other fun games there are.”

— 

They had spent a while in the observatory, before eating lunch at one of the restaurants close by before driving away.

“Will we go play in the park again?”

“Samantha and I wanted to visit a few temples and then eat dinner if we have the time after the next place we’ll visit,” Nagase denied with a small smile. “I’m sure you’ll like it though.”

Kazu was pouting a little, but he agreed silently before slumping down on his seat, much to Satoshi apparent amusement. Nagase rolled his eyes as he made sure he was on the right track. 

He and Samantha had talked a lot about what to visit or see, as Nagase had wanted to make sure that the children wouldn’t be bored but also that they as the adults wouldn’t only end up in things suited for Satoshi and Kazu. 

The observatory had been something they all enjoyed, luckily. He knew that the temples and other sights might be a bit boring for Kazu mainly, but he hoped that the activity planned for now would make him happy. 

“Care to explain to me why we are so lucky?” Samantha asked as they entered the building seeing a small line in front of them. 

Nagase chuckled as he put an arm around his waist to hold her closer as Satoshi and Kazu were playing beside the line with some other children. 

“Because it’s not the weekends and it’s no holiday season here,” Nagase explained finally. “And we’re just lucky,” he said as he observed Satoshi and Kazu to make sure they were fine. 

“It will be different when we visit other spots. Especially Disney,” he whispered so that nobody could hear them. Samantha frowned slightly but nodded as Nagase let her go when they were in the front, and Nagase showed their pre-booked tickets to get everything. 

“Satoshi, Kazu, we can go in,” he called them, smiling when Kazu ran up to him and grabbed his hand to look at their surroundings. 

A nice woman welcomed them in Japanese at which Kazu perked up, and Satoshi frowned a bit worriedly as they got a map and game money. 

Nagase looked at his watch and realised that they still had almost half an hour before the shift would start. He thanked the woman and sat down at one of the tables at the food court with them. 

“You can try different kinds of jobs here. You get a uniform and everything,” Nagase explained with a small smile. “Here are different jobs, and I’ll help you to read what you might want to do, then you can go off to whatever okay? Here are many adults to help if you need help. Samantha and I will be in one of the food courts or the adult lounge because we are not allowed here,” he said as he tickled Kazu who was looking around curiously. “So should we check?”

“Yes, please!” the small boy shouted as he hopped up and down on his seat. Satoshi was looking a bit insecure with all the Japanese around him, but Nagase was sure that he would be able to muddle through. They had practised for this holiday and since Kazu had stayed with them so he was convinced that he would understand the adults even if he wasn’t able to read Japanese yet. 

It took them a bit to look through all things but in the end Satoshi decided to try out the bakery, the car design and the pencil factory because they sounded like fun and not as if he had to talk so much while Kazu wanted to try to make his burger, make watercolours and learn magic to do a show in the end eventually. He looked up at his choices with a small frown. 

“Will you come to watch?” he asked carefully. Nagase laughed as he bopped his nose before he nodded. 

“Of course, Samantha and I will look, Satoshi as well if he has the time, but if he still wants to try another job you shouldn’t be sad promise?”

Kazu frowned but nodded after a second. He would miss Satoshi, but he could understand if the other wanted to play around instead. “What if I don’t want to be alone anymore?”

“Then you tell an adult, and they will contact me, and I will come down, and we can play together a bit?”

Kazu nodded with a grin as he hugged him tightly. “Thank you.”

“Of course, little one. And if you want to stay longer or do anything else, it’s also fine. We will be watching you, so don’t worry.”

“You will stay all the time?”

“Yep but in the adult's lounge because soon we aren’t allowed anywhere but the theatre or food court anymore,” Nagase teased him. Kazu giggled as he was put on the floor and Nagase ruffled Satoshi’s hair. “Same applies to you. If you don’t want to do anything anymore, tell someone, and we’ll be down. If you want to do extras, you may, and we will come down if you have any things were adults are allowed to attend.”

“Okay, thanks, dad,” Satoshi said with a grin, as he stood and offered Kazu a hand to start their afternoon.

Nagase kissed Kazu’s head as he took Satoshi’s hand to take him to the first supporter together and tell her what they wanted to do and what was possible. Nagase smiled as he realised that he and Samantha were already mostly forgotten and put an arm around her to bring her up. He knew that they were technically allowed to go out if they wanted as the children were looked after, but he wanted to make sure they were okay while also allowing them to try everything out on their own without him supervising everything. 

“I’m sorry if we won’t make it to the temples today,” he told her, but she laughed softly as she shook her head when they entered the coffee shop designed for adults with an overlook of each pavilion the children could work in. 

“It’s fine. If they have fun and this way I’ll you for myself for a bit, that’s nice also.”

Nagase smiled a bit as he nodded. He was fortunate to have Samantha with him here. 

(I suck at description, but those are the places they visited: https://sunshinecity.jp/en/observatory/ & http://www.kidzania.jp/tokyo/en/)


	14. Chapter 14

Nagase looked over the children a bit tiredly. The night had been surprisingly hard after the beautiful day yesterday. Nagase looked at Kazu in his arms. The little boy had had nightmares throughout the night, and in the end, Nagase had brought him to his side so that Satoshi would be able to sleep a little better without having a small body thrashing around beside him. 

He caressed Kazu’s hair who held his toy in a tight grip, one of his thumbs in his mouth. He kissed the top of his head before moving slightly in the bed. 

Samantha moved beside him, stroking his brow before moving to kiss his cheek. 

“Sorry about tonight. I don’t know what happened,” he said with a sigh. 

“It’s okay. It’s neither your nor Kazu’s fault. How is he?”

“Finally sleeping peacefully,” he said as he moved Kazu in his arms so that he could sit up and Kazu snuggled up on his lap. He smiled as he caressed his hair until the boy calmed down again. 

“What about Satoshi?”

Nagase looked over to where the older boy was still sleeping. He had tried his best to comfort Kazu tonight, but in the end, Kazu had only calmed down when Nagase brought him to his bed to the side where Samantha wasn’t too close. 

“Still sleeping. I think today should be a slow day,” he said thoughtfully. “We can go visit a few temples and walk to the park to have a picnic, and the boys can play.”

“Sounds like a good plan. I’m looking forward to seeing the temples. Will we take the car?”

“No it’s a bit of a walk to the park I have in mind, but we can see more that way.”

She nodded as she leant against Nagase for a bit to enjoy the calm morning. In the end, though she had to get up to go to the bathroom. “I’ll take a shower, is that okay? I’m not used to this humidity.”

“Of course. Take your time,” he said with a smile as he played with Kazu’s hair as the boy moved around. He carefully picked him up to carry him over to Satoshi. Once laid down, Kazu immediately snuggled close against his brother. Nagase chuckled at the cute sight, before taking a picture of the sleeping boys. 

—

Nagase and Samantha decided to let the boys sleep, and Nagase took a quick shower when Samantha was back in the room to look after the children. He ordered breakfast, not caring that it was a stupid expense when they could go down to the breakfast hall just as well. 

Satoshi was the first to open his eyes, his arms tightening around Kazu for a second before he rubbed his eyes as he sat up. 

“Good morning, Satoshi.”

“Morning, dad,” Satoshi mumbled as he climbed out of bed to go over to his father.

“Could you catch up on your sleep?” Nagase asked as he hugged him warmly for a second. He ruffled his hair when Satoshi nodded slightly.

“I’m hungry.”

Nagase laughed softly as he pinched his cheek softly. “How about you freshen up? I ordered something earlier for you and Kazu for breakfast.”

“Uhn,” Satoshi said good morning to Samantha as he shuffled to the bathroom with half-closed eyes much to their amusement. 

Nagase sighed as he sat up to sit down beside Kazu to wake his little son. “Little one, it’s time to wake up. The sun is already awake, and a new exciting day is waiting for us,” he whispered. It didn’t take long or Kazu to wake up rubbing his eyes and blinking up to him sleepily.

“Good morning, Tomo,” he mumbled as he climbed onto Nagase’s lap to hug him tightly. 

Nagase tickled the boy until he giggled slightly and kissed his forehead. Then he picked him up to bring him to the bathroom after asking Satoshi if it was alright and helped the boy to get cleaned up.

Kazu jumped down from his arms when he was ready to race Satoshi to the bedroom to make it to the breakfast table in record time.

“Sammi is there food?”

“Of course,” the woman said with a laugh as she helped Kazu up on a chair and moved the ordered breakfast around so that the boys could eat. 

— 

It was early in the afternoon when they arrived at the park. Nagase was carrying Kazu again on his shoulders because he got tired on their way. Satoshi was skipping along with Samantha at his side, talking to the woman happily.

“Tomo?”

“Yes, Kazu?”

“I’m hungry,” Kazu whined as he tugged at his shirt. “Can we eat?”

“We’ll buy some bentos and will eat in the park. Does that sound good?”

“What does that mean?”

“Bento?”

“Uhn.”

“It’s a box filled with different kind of food you can eat comfortably outside. You’ll like it, I promise.”

“Okay, where do we get that?”

“At a convenience store and we’ll buy a few rice balls as well.”

“Yay,” Kazu cheered at that promise. Rice balls he knew. Nagase sometimes made them at home. 

Nagase chuckled when the others looked back curiously, before steering them to a supermarket for them all to chose something to eat, while making sure to take something that he knew Kazu would like. It didn’t take them long until they arrived at the park and they even found a nice spot under a few trees to have their late lunch. 

Nagase opened their boxes and handed out chopsticks so that they could eat. He chuckled when he watched Kazu having trouble using them, but the boy was stubborn and decided that he wanted to do just as the adults did. Nagase kissed his head and let him be without any problems. If Kazu got tired he would pick the things he wanted up with his fingers or eat the rice balls, Nagase knew that. 

In the end, though, Kazu moved over to Samantha with a pout. “Why can you do it?” he demanded. 

She laughed softly as she bopped his nose. “Because I was showed how to do it. Do you want to know a trick?” she asked as she pulled him over to her lap when he nodded excitedly. 

Samantha took his chopsticks and a rubber band that had been around their boxes to put it around the end of them. “Look this way they don’t fall so easily,” she said as she handed over the chopsticks and helped Kazu to hold them rightly. 

Kazu frowned, but then his face brightened when he realised that it was easier for him to use them now, and leant against Samantha as he picked up some rice with them. “I can do it!” he cried out happily as he continued to pick up tiny amounts of rice to put it into his mouth.

“Look, Tomo! Satoshi I can eat like you,” he repeated when he thought he didn’t get enough attention. The other two looked up then, and with a grin, Nagase praised the small boy who celebrated with a happy smile on his face. 

Kazu ate until he was full and then snuggled up to the woman on whose lap she still was. Samantha put her arms around Kazu, caressing his hair. “Sleepy?”

“Uhn, a bit. We walked a lot,” he explained.

“We did, but it was fun right?”

“Yup but now my eyes are tired.”

She chuckled as she rubbed his cheek softly. “How about you take a nap then?”

“Is that okay?” Kazu asked, looking from Satoshi to Nagase. Both nodded with a chuckle. 

“Of course.”

Kazu grinned happily as he got comfortable and closed his eyes to fall asleep shortly after. 

Nagase smiled before looking at Satoshi. “What do you want to do?”

Satoshi shrugged looking around a bit confusedly. 

“Should we walk around a little? We might see some street dancers.”

“Can we?” Satoshi asked with bright eyes. That sounded exciting. Nagase nodded after making sure Samantha would be okay with Kazu alone for a bit. 

He helped Satoshi up taking a stroll through the park until they reached an open space where a few street artists were dancing to hip hop tunes. Satoshi watched them with wide eyes, holding Nagase’s shirt in between his fingers. 

“I want to do that,” he mumbled.

Nagase chuckled as he ruffled his hair. “We can go look later to find a few videos, and you can check the choreography or something like that. Or we can look for a street dance class back home?”

“I would like that,” Satoshi mumbled after a while. They watched a few more dances until the girls packed up. 

“Should we go back? There is a big playground around. It has great slides for you.”

Satoshi scrunched up his nose a little bit in the end, he nodded. If Nagase said he would have fun there as well, he was sure that he would have, at least he hoped so. Mostly he found long days on the smaller playgrounds at home boring. There was nothing exciting for him to use if they were suitable for Kazu and often the other way round. 

When they went back, Kazu was still snuggled up to Samantha, listening to a story she told him out of a book she had taken with her this morning. 

“We are back. Were you bored?” Nagase asked curiously. 

Kazu looked up, putting his finger to his lips. “Shh… The prince has to fight the monster!” he scolded the man. Satoshi giggled at the slight glare of his brother and sat down beside them to peak into the book with Kazu to look at the lovely illustrations. 

Nagase apologised softly as he sat down, to let Samantha finish her story. Kazu tugged at her sleeve to get her attention. “Please finish?” he asked hopefully. 

“Okay,” she promised, continuing from where she had left off and continued the story in a soft voice until the prince finally rescued the other people, and there was yet again peace. 

“More tonight then,” she said as she closed the book, bopping his nose again. 

“Okay,” Kazu giggled as he jumped up to hug Satoshi around the neck. Samantha hid a small wince as she finally was allowed to move again, her legs feeling all tingly because they fell to sleep. 

Nagase grinned as he massaged her legs, helping her up after a while. 

“Toshi said we are going to a playground?”

“Yup, help us clean our stuff away first though.”

Kazu nodded with a sigh but did as he was told. He put their trash in a bag Nagase brought with him. Afterwards, he took Satoshi’s hand as they wandered to the part of the park where Nagase had explained to them the playground would be. 

When they arrived, the children ran to the different playground equipment racing each other around or finding new children to play with. 

“It’s always so easy for them,” Samantha mumbled as she sat on a bench with Nagase on her side. 

“Yes, it’s admirable,” he said with a smile. He watched the children play, surprised that soon enough Satoshi and Kazu split up, talking to children their age group. Soon enough Satoshi was racing a few boys to the slides climbing up and sliding down, and Kazu played with a boy on the climbing pole talking animatedly. 

“Looks like they already made friends,” Samantha observed with a chuckle to which Nagase only nodded.


	15. Chapter 15

They had spent a few days walking around temples or just playing in the parks on the playgrounds that were around their hotel when Ohno sidled up to Nagase.

“Dad?” 

“What is it?” Nagase asked as he watched Kazu play with a boy he had met already a few times here in the park. He was worried about how Kazu would feel if they finally left, and he wouldn’t be able to meet him again.

“Can we go there?” Satoshi asked as he pointed to a flyer he had looked at for a while. It was for an art exhibition that looked like lots of fun. Nagase frowned as he took the paper to look it over. 

“You’d like to visit?”

Satoshi nodded with bright eyes. “It looks like a lot of fun, and it says that it’s a mix of things to see or something? I couldn’t fully understand.”

Nagase smiled as he ruffled his hair and looked over the flyer again. “It looks like fun, and I would take you if you want. Let me talk to Samantha, though? Because I don’t think that Kazu is suited for it. He gets overwhelmed too easily,” he mumbled with a small shudder, remembering when they had entered a toy store which had brought tears and a slight panic attack for Kazu in seconds. They had to leave the store, and it had taken a while for Kazu to calm down again. 

Satoshi’s face fell as he thought about not being allowed to go but tried hard to hide it. “It’s okay if it’s not possible,” he whispered with a bowed head. 

“I’m sure we can go, Satoshi, okay?”

“Uhn,” Satoshi mumbled as he shuffled away to get back to playing with Kazu and his friend again. Opposite to Kazu, he had not found someone to play with which he didn’t mind much, but he missed his friends from school.

Nagase sighed softly as he stood to go over to Samantha, who was taking pictures of the children. 

“I have a favour to ask.”

“What is it, dear?”

Nagase smiled at that slight endearment but got serious soon after. “Satoshi asked me to visit a museum,” he explained showing her the flyer. “But I don’t think that it’s suitable for Kazu. I don’t want to repeat the shock of that toy store, and I want Satoshi to take as much time as he wants.”

“So you want to take him alone?” Nagase nodded as he put a hand through his hair. 

“Around the hotel are a few things that might be suitable for Kazu. Like that toy museum which would be too boring for Satoshi. Would you be fine with taking Kazu for a day all alone?”

Samantha shrugged as she looked over at the boys before nodding. “I think I’ll manage. We can go to the park close by as well so he can play. The food though…” She grimaced slightly, and Nagase laughed. 

“Oh well, I think Kazu could play your translator. He might even enjoy that.”

Samantha laughed softly as she nodded. That was true. At least talking would be easy for Kazu and otherwise, she was sure that they could get where they needed with English if they had to. 

“If Kazu is okay with it, we can do that.”

Nagase nodded with a relieved grin as he called the boys over to ask them. 

“Kazu, Satoshi told me he wanted to visit an art museum,” Nagase said chuckling at the slight hopping from Kazu because he wanted to go back to play. 

Satoshi’s eyes widened as he looked up hopefully. He couldn’t believe that they might be able to go. 

“Yes?”

“Yep, but I don’t think you’ll like it. On the other hand, there is a toy museum where you could play with old toys. Samantha said the art museum sounded boring as well and she would be very happy to go to the toy museum instead. But Samantha can’t speak Japanese. So I wanted to ask you if you would go with Samantha and help her? You would be her translator.”

Kazu looked from one to the other with a frown. “Sammi would like my help?”

“Yes, very much. And we both can have fun, while those going to that boring museum, sound good?”

Kazu nodded slowly with a frown. “We will play?”

“Yep, as much as possible. Will you come with me?” 

Finally, Kazu grinned as he nodded coming over to look up at Samantha with a proud smile. “I can speak good Japanese. I will be your translator,” he explained. “Just like a big boy.”

“Yay, thank you Kazu,” Samantha said as she ruffled his hair, letting him go back to his friend after a second. Satoshi was watching them with wide eyes as he cried out in joy hugging Nagase close. 

“Thank you, dad!”

“Sure thing, kid. Tomorrow we’ll go to that museum you wanted and leave Kazu and Samantha at the hotel.”

Satoshi nodded as he ran back to the slide with a small jump in his steps, clearly happy with the outcome. 

—

The next morning Kazu said goodbye to Nagase and Satoshi and promised Nagase to be a good boy and listen to Samantha while helping her around. 

Samantha hid her amused smile when Kazu looked up at her with a serious expression on his face. “I will help you!” he promised. She nodded as she took his hand to lead them both to the toy museum. 

“Do you want to go to eat breakfast at the bakery before? You like those melonpans. I just realised we are too early,” Samantha said with a frown as she looked at her watch. 

Kazu’s eyes lightened up as he nodded and followed Samantha inside. In the bakery, he very proudly and carefully ordered them bread and tea for Samantha and a juice for himself before finding a place to sit as Samantha paid. 

They talked a little over their second breakfast before they entered the museum an hour later with Samantha trailing behind Kazu as he looked around with wide eyes, happy and surprised that they were allowed to try each toy from the past and regular toys from Japan that Kazu didn’t know yet. They made their toys at the factory and spent a few hours in there just playing. Samantha smiled amusedly as she thought that Kazu had forgotten about their split up so far and just enjoyed himself and even bought toys for him and Satoshi before heading to the park to play outside and eat at a Ramen stall. 

—

Satoshi and Nagase drove to the museum that he had wanted to visit. It was about a half-hour trip. He looked out of the car, enjoying the view until they arrived at the museum. 

The line in front was a bit longer than he had anticipated, but soon enough Nagase was able to pay their entry fee putting an arm around Satoshi’s shoulder to lead him inside. 

Satoshi’s eyes were blown wide as he looked around the installations that were everywhere. Lasers were making the installations even brighter and more fantastical. There was music around them that fitted with the pictures on the walls, floors and ceilings. 

Nagase smiled as he watched how Satoshi’s mouth was slack as he wandered around standing in front of different installations, looking at them intently before going to the next. He was careful as not to fall as the floor was uneven, making the experience even more magical. 

“Do you think I can do something like that? Things that people might look at?” he asked suddenly. 

Nagase blinked as he came over to ruffle his hair. “If you want, I’m sure you could,” he said with a smile. “You are still at an age where you can practise a lot.”

Satoshi grinned at his promise before taking Nagase’s hand not to lose him as they wandered more through the exhibition. Nagase looked around, taking some pictures of Satoshi when it was allowed and he was silently glad that he hadn’t taken Kazu. Children were running around, yes, but they didn’t look at the art installations, so he wondered if they won’t get bored soon. This way, they could spend as much time inside as Satoshi wanted. 

It was late in the afternoon when they finally reached the last room, Satoshi looking up with bright eyes. He was thankful about going here. “Thanks again.”

Nagase shook his head as he ruffled Satoshi’s hair. “Satoshi, I will always try to make your wishes come true, don’t worry about that, okay?”

“Uhn…” Satoshi mumbled. Nagase smiled as he put his arm around his shoulder and tugged him close. 

“Do you want to eat just we two or do you want to go back to rejoin the others?”

“I want to eat with Kazu and tell him what we have seen,” Satoshi decided with a grin. He had enjoyed the time alone with his dad, but now he missed his little brother and wanted to know what he had also done.

“Okay, whatever you want.”

Satoshi grinned as they excited the exhibition driving back to their hotel to meet up with their family.

A/N: I know, that Kazu probably would’ve been fine at the exhibition Satoshi went to, but I think Satoshi enjoyed spending time alone with Nagase and taking all the time he wanted without taking care of Kazu (which he doesn’t need to but automatically does because it’s his little brother that he loves). And I think Kazu is very proud to be the translator for Samantha XD. Sorry if this sucks.  
If you are interested: Kazu: http://goodtoy.org/ttm/pdf/ttm_pamphlet_e.pdf  
Satoshi: https://borderless.teamlab.art/?fbclid=IwAR2wNuZXivbCnY3Z_MnZr4GC7jxVL4L2ufOkBXn400hNHwE4NeqcDLAk4d4


	16. Chapter 16

Nagase held Samantha’s hand as they followed the children who were walking in front of them to the entry of the zoo. Originally Nagase hadn’t wanted to visit here. He had never liked zoos that much, and he knew from travel portals that the Ueno Zoo was small which was no surprise for him considering where it was situated. He feared that the small cages would upset the children and Samantha, but after Kazu’s friend from the park had told him everything about all the cute animals there the boy had wanted to visit.

Kazu had never been to a zoo something that Nagase hadn’t realised, but there hadn’t been time back in Berlin until now. Nagase would need to make sure to remedy that one day. But because of his lack of experience, Kazu was looking forward to seeing all the animals he knew from his picture books and the movies for real, and he was talking nonstop since yesterday afternoon after they had been invited by his friend’s grandparents for this trip today.

“What are you frowning about?” Samantha asked Nagase with a small laugh which brought him back to reality. He blinked as he looked over to her.

“The zoo might be smaller than you are used to. I hope you won’t be too upset,” he said after a bit of thought.

Samantha shrugged a little before kissing his cheek with a sigh. “It will be fine. I might be upset, but as long as the children enjoy…”

Nagase smiled as he nodded. That was true, probably. Also, Kazu had been so looking forward to it that he didn’t want to disappoint his little boy who was still too insecure about asking for anything that he would like. He fastened his steps when he could see the entry of the zoo looming over them to keep up with the children before he could lose them at the mass of people in front of the gates.

“Where are they?” Kazu asked as Nagase finally managed to stop him. He looked around for his little friend with an unhappy frown on his face. Nagase chuckled at the picture in front of him even if he felt a bit worried about how Kazu might handle leaving here again.

“I’m sure they arrive soon. We are early, little one,” he said and bopped his nose. “Are you excited?”

Kazu nodded with bright eyes. “I want to see the elephants and the tigers and pandas and…” Nagase grinned as he ruffled his hair and turned him out for a bit while looking around for the others. In short, Kazu wanted to see everything there was.

“Oh hello,” Nagase said when he saw the old couple coming with their two grandchildren. He put Kazu down when the boy asked him to, and he ran up to his slightly older friend happily.

“Sorry, we are late, but Masa lost his shoe,” the woman said with a small eye roll. Masaki ignored his grandmother as he talked with Kazu about what they wanted to visit first. Nagase chuckled as he followed them to the gates to pay for their entry fees and then follow Masaki’s lead through the park.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” Nagase asked when he came to a stand beside Satoshi as they looked at the sea otter in the water. Kazu was watching wide-eyed and giggling when the otters moved strangely.

“The animals are cute,” Satoshi said as he leant against Nagase.

“But?”

“Dunno.”

Nagase sighed at the moody answer but ruffled his hair. “Hungry?”

Satoshi blushed at the words, making Nagase chuckle softly. “We will eat lunch in a bit. There is a small restaurant close, and I heard they sell cute animal meals.”

“Sounds good,” Satoshi answered finally before skipping over to Kazu and hugging him from behind for a second.

“Kazu, aren’t you hungry?” he asked in a small whine.

“I wanna see more animals,” Kazu whined as he moved in the arms of the other.

“We can go after lunch.”

“But Masa has to leave after lunch.”

“He needs to leave if we have lunch or not,” Satoshi reprimanded him softly and ruffled his hair. Kazu pouted but wriggled slightly in Satoshi’s arms. Nagase frowned slightly as he observed the boys in front of him.

Kazu was pinching the front of his shorts before moving his legs with a small pout before removing his hand again to look at the otters and talk to Masaki beside him. This action repeated a few times as Kazu and Satoshi argued about food and finally, Nagase stepped closer to them. “Kazu do you need to go to the toilet?”

Kazu stood still as he looked at him before very slowly shaking his head. “…no…” he mumbled unclearly but with a stubborn pout.

“Come on, little one, Masaki will be still here after a toilet break, right Masaki-kun?”

“Uhn, we can have lunch together. Then I have to go to the afternoon school,” he said with a bright smile. Kazu pouted but didn’t fight it when Satoshi finally let him go. He clearly had given up now. He took Nagase’s hand as the older man offered it to him.

“Toilet is this way. Samantha, Satoshi how about you look for a nice free table that would fit the Aiba's and us?”

“Yes, dad,” Satoshi said giggling when Kazu started hopping from one foot to the other now that his mind wasn’t on the animals anymore.

“Tomo,” he whined as he tugged at his hand slightly. Nagase rolled his eyes but bent down to pick the boy up and hurry to the toilets before there could be an accident.


	17. Chapter 17

“It’s Totoro!” Kazu cried out as they stepped into the bakery. It was early in the morning, and he had been moaning all the way until here, much to Nagase’s amusement. Kazu jumped up and down beside the adults singing the theme song of Totoro almost silently.

Nagase laughed softly as he picked him finally up and hugged him for a second. “They look like Totoro right?” he asked Kazu who nodded with a bright smile on his face. 

“They are cute,” he said much more calmly now that he could look at them more directly. “Will we get some?”

Nagase nodded as he looked them over. “Yep, for a picnic in the park since it’s a bit early for something like that ne?”

Kazu pouted a little but nodded after a moment. His tummy was still quite full from breakfast as well. “But we can have a cookie?” he asked hopefully as his eyes strayed to the cookies that looked like characters from the movie as well. Nagase chuckled as he looked questioningly at Samantha who shrugged. 

“I think a small second breakfast wouldn’t hurt,” she agreed in the end, much to Kazu’s happiness.

“Okay, then I’ll order,” Nagase said, shooting him a look when Kazu opened his mouth to say something. Luckily Kazu calmed down even if he was pouting slightly. “Do you have any favourites Satoshi?”

“I want one of those sandwiches,” the boy said, pointing at one and then getting himself a soft drink. Nagase nodded before ordering a cream puff of each kind they sold at this kind of the year and the cookies he knew Kazu would eat as well as some juice and tea for Samantha and him. Then he ushered them all upstairs to the little extra room with tables and chairs for them to sit and enjoy their treats.

“It’s cute,” Samantha said with a smile as she drank her tea and watched the boys looking at the instalments around the shop after they had each eaten a cookie. 

“Yes, sorry for dragging you out so early. But the lines are very long later, and the cream puffs are easily sold out,” Nagase explained. Samantha shrugged as she tried one of the matcha cookies curiously. It was fine with her. “Our time for the museum’s slot is early as well,” she teased the man who smiled apologetically. He knew he was lucky to have gotten all the tickets for the museums and other things so far; sadly, it had meant to take the early or very late times now and then. 

—

They had arrived at the Ghibli-museum just in time for their time-slot and Nagase sighed softly as he followed the children around. He enjoyed the exhibitions a lot while he was sure that Kazu only really enjoyed the time at the cat-bus and the short film they were able to watch. He had recognised only little characters from other movies and wasn’t that interested in the exhibitions he was only allowed to look at. 

Satoshi, on the opposite hand, had enjoyed looking around at the buildings and all the small corners with a bewitching smile on his face. Nagase was sure that his imagination was already running wild and that he wanted to draw soon. 

At least the cafe wasn’t that full when they finally reached the small restaurant just around lunchtime. Nagase was careful to choose things they all liked, and at the end of their little trip, he allowed the children to buy one item each at the souvenir shop. 

In the afternoon they had the promised picnic at the Inokashira park in front of a beautiful lake, where Kazu and Satoshi played with a frisbee afterwards until at least Kazu was tired and cuddled up to Nagase for a small rest. 

“Tomo will we go back to the hotel now?”

“If you want. Are you sleepy, little one?” 

“A bit,” Kazu said with a small frown on his face. Nagase chuckled as he caressed his head. 

“How about I carry you, and we’ll have a look at the temple and then go back?”

“Another temple?” Kazu asked with an unhappy frown on his face, while Satoshi looked hopeful. He liked watching the temples, and they looked beautiful, he thought. 

“Yes. Satoshi likes them as do I and Samantha.”

“But you’ll carry me?”

“Yes, I promise,” Nagase chuckled as he picked him up. Nagase ruffled Kazu’s hair as he got comfortable in his arms and closed his eyes sleepily. Nagase smiled as he made sure that the boy was secure and then followed the others making sure that Satoshi wouldn’t be lost as the boy was currently busy taking pictures of everything he found fascinating - which was a lot.

A/N: If you are interested: https://reveetoile.dreamwidth.org/236861.html


	18. Chapter 18

Nagase nibbled his lower lip as he sighed softly and looked over his youngest son. As happy as he was that he had found a friend here as worried he was about having to take him away again. 

“You are worried,” Samantha said as she moved her fingers over his cheek. Nagase blinked. He hadn’t realised that the woman was back. They were again at the park with Kazu and Satoshi running around playing, and Samantha had left for a moment to get them some drinks because the children would soon be there demanding drinks.

“Yes, about how Kazu will react if I tell him that we will leave soon for another city,” he said with a sigh as he put a hand through his hair. 

Samantha hummed as she nodded. That had been a worry on Nagase’s mind from the very beginning. They had explained it to Kazu from the beginning, and the boy had been fine with it. 

“We will see how he reacts and then handle it from there on,” she said and smoothed down his forehead. “It doesn’t make sense to stress over it now when they have fun.”

“I suppose you are right,” Nagase said with a smile as he watched the boys running around and laughing happily. God he loved his boys so much, he thought with a smile. They had been through so much, and still, they ran around like healthy, happy children most of the time. 

—

Satoshi came over soon after Samantha was back to ask for a soft drink. Samantha gave him one of the bottles she had brought. 

“Thank you,” Satoshi said as he sat beside them, enjoying his drink while looking around. 

“Are you bored?” Nagase asked softly hissing when Samantha pinched him slightly. 

“What?” he asked with a pout. She giggled when Satoshi watched them curiously.

“You should enjoy yourself and not worry so much. Your children will tell you if they are not comfortable,” she scolded him slightly. “Right, Satoshi?”

“Uhn,” Satoshi nodded with a giggle. “Dad shouldn’t worry all the time,” he agreed again. It could be frustrating if his father were always worried, honestly.

“Am I that bad?” Nagase asked softly. 

Satoshi shrugged slightly before he nodded softly. “Sometimes. More since that boy was at our home and about Kazu. Is it because you worry about us?”

“Yes, and I’ll always worry about you both,” he said softly. 

“More about Kazu?”

“Mhm… because he is smaller than you,” Nagase nodded. 

Satoshi giggled as he understood that. “But it’s better since Sammy is there,” he said in the end as he finished his drink and jumped up. “I want to go to the monkey bars,” he said with a grin. Nagase chuckled as he nodded in understanding. 

“Then, off you go. Have fun,” Nagase said as he moved closer to Samantha to hug her and kiss her softly. It was right after all. He was a lot more relaxed, having Samantha talking sense into him. 

Satoshi scrunched up his nose as he saw them Kissing. He didn’t mind them seeing like that, but it was a bit gross seeing others kissing.

—

“I should go get Kazu to drink something,” he said after a while. Kazu tended to forget to drink or eat when he was in the middle of playing. Samantha nodded with a hum as she enjoyed he can of coffee she had gotten for herself. 

“Tomo,” Kazu yelled happily as he saw him approaching. He was climbing after Masaki on a spider-like string construction. 

“Little one, how about a drink?” he asked the boy who frowned for a second before nodding. 

“I’m thirsty,” he said in realisation, making Nagase chuckle softly.

“How about you come down then?”

“Catch me?” Kazu asked with big hopeful eyes. Nagase laughed as he held out his arms. 

“Careful, though,” he asked him as Kazu nodded. The boy let go of the handles he was holding on, dropping into the arms of Nagase with a small giggle. 

“Masaki-kun, do you want to have something to drink as well?”

“May I?”

“Of course. Should I catch you as well?”

Masaki thought about it for a second before he shook his head and climbed a bit closer to the man so that he could pluck him from the construction and put him down on the floor beside Kazu to bring them both over and give them something to drink. He watched the boys for a moment until he sighed softly.

“Kazu, Masaki-kun?”

“Yes, Tomo?” both said, looking up at him with big curious eyes.

He smiled as he put his hand on top of both of their heads and ruffled their hair.

“I have to tell you something, and I’m sorry that it’s so late. But the day after tomorrow we will be moving to another city,” he explained softly. “Our holiday here ends sadly. We’ll still be in Japan for a bit, but it will be too far from here for you two to meet.”

“So we won’t be able to see each other again?” Kazu asked softly.

“We’ll still be here tomorrow for you both to meet, I promise. And maybe we can come back for another holiday, ne?” 

“And I can write,” Masaki said proudly. He started school, after all.

“That sounds nice, doesn’t it, Kazu?”

“Uhn,” Kazu nodded even if a bit sad. But he understood that this had been only temporarily. 

“And I know your grandparents allowed you to call if you want to,” Nagase added which made the boys smile. “Can we play the whole day tomorrow though?”

“Of course,” Nagase laughed softly. “I will bring you here, and Samantha and Satoshi can do what they like, sounds fair?”

“Uhn,” Kazu grinned as he took Masaki’s had and ran with him back to the playground. 

“And was it so bad as you thought?” Samantha teased him when the boys were gone. 

Nagase chuckled as he leant against her. He had honestly to learn to let them go slowly and trust them more, he thought. But since he could still easily remember the scared, lost boys they had once been it was hard. Honestly, it was probably good that Samantha had another view on those things.


	19. Chapter 19

Satoshi stared out of the car with big wide eyes. He had already recognised the signs for Disneyland, and with the little Japanese, he understood he saw that they were coming closer to the park instead of going to the other direction. Again, Nagase hadn’t told them where to go, and it was exciting to see what their father had thought about. But Disneyland? Never in his life would he have thought that with their busy schedule and all they could see in Japan, Nagase would take time for them to come here. 

Kazu was sleeping beside him (again) and Satoshi had a hard time not to yell in excitement. They were going to see Mickey and his friends, and he could go on all the fast roller coasters. He was almost brimming in excitement and jumping up and down on his seat.

Nagase chuckled as he saw Satoshi in the back and steered them to the hotel close by the parks. It was one of the Disneyland hotels, and his wallet had wept when he had paid for the one-night-stay, and the fast pass option he had chose for them. But he thought it was worth it when he saw the poorly hidden happiness in Satoshi’s face. 

His eyes wandered over to Kazunari, who was still peacefully asleep. They had already learnt that Kazu got severely ill on long car rides and therefore he took travel sickness pills for children. He sighed softly hoping that Kazu would overcome his sickness in future, but for now, this was the best thing to do, he supposed. 

They arrived at the hotel soon after and Nagase woke his little son. Kazu pouted adorably and rubbed his eyes. “Where are we Tomo?”

“We are at Disneyland,” Nagase said with a chuckle. 

Kazu’s eyes widened as he jumped up and down on Nagase’s arm. He loved the movies he was allowed to watch with his brother, and he was curious about what they would do and see here. 

“Will we visit?”

Nagase chuckled as he nodded. “Yup, I thought it would be nice to go inside instead of just staying on the parking lot,” he teased the boy as he tapped his nose lovingly. “And tonight we’ll sleep here, and tomorrow we can have breakfast with Mickey, sounds good?”

“Yup!” he said happily as Nagase put him down. He took his hand and led them all forward to the park. He flashed their tickets at the entrance and soon after they were allowed inside.

It was a mostly fun day. Satoshi was allowed to go on almost all attractions together with either Nagase or Samantha. There were a few where they all could go, but that was enough for Kazu. He liked looking around, listening to music and play the games he was allowed. 

“Sam?” Kazu asked as he tugged at the hem of the skirt of the woman. Nagase and Satoshi were standing in line for a roller coaster he wasn’t allowed on. Samantha had said that she would like to stay on the ground for a bit, so she was keeping him company as they looked at a flower garden where the flowers were planted in a way that looked like Disney characters.

“What is it?”

“I’m thirsty. Can I have water, please?”

“Yes, you may,” she said softly. “I can get us some,” she said as she pointed at a small stall where people were lining up. 

“Thank you,” he said happily as he followed her to wait for her water. He made a small sound in the back of his throat when a big group of youngsters pushing in between him and Samantha, and he lost the grip on her hand. 

Kazu stumbled down and fell to the floor a few steps back, and by the time he was able to stand up and look around, he realised that Samantha wasn’t there anymore. He looked around with tears in his eyes, calling out softly for the woman before he stumbled again as someone collided with him, and he fell to the floor. Bigger tears sprang to his eyes, and he shrieked when a big hand helped him up. 

He stared with big eyes at the mascot of Mickey Mouse not recognising the character. He was scared and hurt and didn’t know where the rest of the family was so when the mascot just stared down at him with the painted face and moved down to get a hold of him he cried out in fear and ran away calling for Samantha, Tomoya and Satoshi.

He didn’t find the others though and huddled close to a bench sniffling slightly. He made himself as small as possible and hid his face from the others. He just wanted Tomoya right now. 

“Oh, little one, are you lost?” he heard a female voice and chanced a glance upwards. His mouth fell open as he recognised Anna and Elsa with Anna kneeling to be able to look into his eyes. 

He stared at her with big eyes. Tomo always told them not to talk with strangers and to go to the police if he was lost, but he knew those people were friendly. Anna was brave and strong - at least Satoshi told him when they had watched the movie, and Elsa could do magic! He nodded finally after a while. 

The woman looked at him with a soft smile as she offered him a hand to stand up. “If you come with us, we can call for your guardians to pick you up and Elsa makes the best hot cocoa, sounds good?”

“Yes, I want Tomo,” he said with a small whine as he followed the women. 

“How are you called little one?”

“Kazunari Nagase,” he mumbled with a small but proud blush on his face. He was proud to carry the name of his adopted father now. The term ‘little one’ reminded him of Tomo, and that made his heart a tiny bit lighter. The women brought him to a small house where they could call for Nagase and treat him to the hot chocolate while they tried their best to distract him until Nagase, Samantha and Satoshi appeared at the entry. 

“Tomo!” he cried out loudly as he saw him and jumped up to run over to the man to hug him tightly. He cried slightly as he hid his face and explained what had happened. 

“I’m sorry little one. That was very scary, ne?” he whispered as he caressed his hair. “Thank you for taking care of Kazu,” he said to the women bowing a little as Kazu did the same. 

“How about an early dinner, then we go for a slow drive through the park and then go to the hotel?” he asked the boy who nodded but kept his arms around Nagase’s neck tightly. He didn’t want to be put down. Nagase smiled as he hugged him tighter and left the building. He was relieved to have his boy back and was glad for the excuse to keep him close for a little while longer. He kissed Samantha, who had been in tears most of the last 30 minutes she had lost Kazu and ruffled Satoshi’s hair when he saw how Satoshi relaxed again as well.


	20. Chapter 20

“Good morning,” Nagase whispered as he woke up to Kazu climbing into the bed with him and Samantha. He smiled as he hugged the little boy who snuggled close. 

“How did you sleep?”

“Good dreams,” Kazu said with a happy smile as he enjoyed the moment of silent snuggling with his adoptive father. Satoshi was still sleeping on his bed and Samantha had been already up and was in the bathroom right now. 

“That’s good. Are you hungry?” he asked as he poked his stomach softly. He was glad that after the scare at the park Kazu hadn’t had nightmares about being abandoned. 

Kazu giggled, before agreeing softly. He was slightly hungry but it was also early and he wanted to snuggle a bit more. 

“But first a bit cuddling,” he demanded with a pout. 

“Okay, first we cuddle. Then we wake Satoshi, get ready and you can choose what you want to wear today?”

“Uhn… Will we go to the park again? I want to go on rides. Satoshi said they were fun,” he mumbled with a small frown on his face. 

“Yeah, we can go today as well. We have a two-day pass,” Nagase agreed as he kissed his head. “But today we’ll stay all together, okay?”

“Uhn,” Kazu said as he hugged him around the neck. “But Anna and Elsa were nice.”

“They were. They took care of you ne?”

“Yup, they rescued me because they are strong,” Kazu said happily. 

Nagase smiled in amusement but nodded. He ruffled his hair lovingly and leant against the headrest of the bed so that they could lie down more comfortably. 

Kazu snuggled a bit longer with Nagase until the door to the bathroom opened and Samantha stepped out. “Sammi, good morning.”

“Good morning, Kazu,” Samantha said as she rubbed his cheeks with her fingers, making him giggle. “Are you looking forward to today?”

“Yes! Will you wear the princess dress?” Kazu asked with big eyes. 

“Which princess dress?” she asked a bit confusedly. But then he picked him up when he held out his arms for her. “Show me, okay?”

“Yup,” he said with a giggle as he got carried to the suitcase from Samantha and sat down with her in front of it. They looked through the dresses until he showed her a light bluish dress that maybe could be interpreted as a princess dress. 

“You only need a tiara now,” he said with a giggle, skipping over to his suitcase and choosing a few clothes for himself to wear. “And I’ll be a prince. Because Tomo is a king,” he said happily. 

“And Satoshi?”

“Satoshi is my brother. So he has to be a prince… But there can only be one prince,” he said with a frown. 

“There can be more than one,” Nagase said as he carefully roused Satoshi. Kazu hummed in understanding as he pulled out clothes for Satoshi as well. Black shorts and a white shirt. It was a meagre outfit as a prince but it was black and white and all princes had black and white suits he thought as he threw the things at Ohno while giggling and jumping up on the bed. 

“We are princes and Sammi is our princess,” he declared. Satoshi was still blinking in confusion and not really understanding. But he nodded slowly as he took the things into his arms. He didn’t care about clothes anyway. He stepped off the bed, tugging Kazu down as well. 

“Princes need to be clean,” he said through a yawn as they wandered off to the bathroom to wash up. Samantha laughed softly at their antics before sharing a small smile with Nagase who shook his head in amusement. 

“So a tiara, yes?”

“Seems like it,” she agreed as she got ready before the boys were back. 

“There might be some nice ones in the park.”

“Oh so is the king going to get me one?”

“Of course,” he said with a small laugh, before kissing her and then pulling out clothes for himself. Seemed like the day was about to get started.


	21. Chapter 21

Kazu giggled as he looked at the deers in the park. It was full of them and they looked cute. He held onto Nagase’s leg because the older man had told them to stay close. 

The man hadn’t bought them any food because Nagase had been worried that the deers would run directly to the children and harm them if they tried to feed the deer. He knew from experience that it was sometimes difficult for little children to fight them off and he didn’t want to cause any tears. 

“Do you want to go closer?” he asked the boy pointing at Samantha and Ohno who carefully had gone closer to stroke the deers after somehow making sure with the park rangers that they were allowed to do so. 

“Do they bite?”

“Normally not, little one,” he said with as he picked him up. Kazu’s arms surrounded his neck. “I’ll protect you, okay?”

“Okay,” Kazu mumbled as he hid his face at his shoulder. Nagase chuckled softly as he stroke his back and stepped closer to the other two. 

“Look, Kazu how cute,” Satoshi said as they were finally beside them. 

“Uhn,” Kazu mumbled with a frown as he carefully looked over at the deers that were suddenly much closer. “Why are there no little ones, Tomo? Don’t deers have babies?”

Nagase chuckled but then nodded. “They do. But right now it’s not the time for them to get pregnant or give birth. If it was we wouldn’t be allowed to be this close.”

“Why?” Satoshi asked as Kazu nodded and looked up curiously. 

“Because when there are fawns the parents are very protective. And if strangers get close they might bite or shove you away and with their antlers, it hurts a lot.”

Kazu made big eyes as he looked over the deers, his arms tightening around Nagase a little bit. “Then it’s good that there are no babies,” he agreed. 

Nagase laughed as he nodded. “Very,” Nagase explained to the children a little bit more about the deers before they decided it was time to walk around in the park a little more. 

“Down, Tomo,” Kazu asked as they had left the deers behind and Nagase put him down on the floor again. 

“Stay on the prepared paths,” Nagase warned them. 

“Okay,” both Satoshi and Kazu said in unison. Then they looked at each other, giggling before they took each other's hands skipping in front of the adults while chanting a silly rhyme. 

Nagase rolled his eyes while Samantha giggled. “Silly boys.”

“Yep, but very cute ones,” she said with a teasing grin. Nagase laughed before he nodded enjoying the nice weather. 

The day was spent with leisure activities mostly outside and after a small dinner, the boys fell to sleep in the bedrolls they had laid out close to each other. 

Nagase sighed as he leant back. “Only two more days,” he said with a frown. 

“You don’t want to go back?”

Nagase hummed thoughtfully. In a way, he wanted to stay here for longer. The holidays had been great. On the other hand, he missed their home. 

“No I want to,” he said in the end. He grinned as he moved forward to hold her close. “I’m just being silly.”

“Of course you are. Fitting for those silly boys,” she teased with a laugh. Nagase chuckled but had to agree. 

“Tomorrow your hometown?”

“Yes. I will show you around and in the night there is a festival. I remember the festivals the most so I believe it will be fun.”

She grinned before she nodded. She had read about festivals after all and was looking forward to it now.


	22. Chapter 22

Satoshi held to Nagase’s hand as they entered the festival grounds. There were a lot of people and he was a little bit nervous about getting lost in between all that. It was loud and there were lots of smell surrounding them. 

Samantha held to Kazu beside them with the smaller boy skipping along with the adults, looking around with bright eyes. He liked all the colourful lights and sometimes he stood with wide eyes watching the people rushing by in their summer kimonos. 

He liked how they looked as they were all colourful or with nice pictures on it (at least for the girls. The ones for the men, Kazu thought were a bit boring in their dark colours.)

“Satoshi everything okay?” Nagase asked, looking at him with a worried look on his face. Satoshi shrugged slightly, feeling uncomfortable. It was strange walking here, knowing that his father had once lived here. It had even been stranger as they had found out about the orphanage.

Nagase frowned as he saw his face and looked around to see where to bring them that they could talk. He finally found some old fashioned game stalls and brought them to Kazu’s attention. 

“Do you want to play one?” he asked Kazu who nodded and dragged Samantha with him to one of the stalls he thought he could win. 

Nagase smiled before sitting down with Satoshi at a bench close by. “What is going on in your mind?”

“I don’t know, dad,” he said softly as he looked at the floor. “I feel strange.”

Nagase frowned slightly before pulling him over. “Should I guess why?”

Satoshi nodded as he didn’t know what to say. “Yes, please. If you do it mostly makes sense again in my head.”

“You enjoyed the holiday and almost forgot that your parents are from here.”

Satoshi nodded. That was true. He had felt nothing about being here other than having fun during his vacation. He had feared that he would miss his mother more here but that hadn’t happened at all. Same with Kazu somehow. 

“But today was different because we came here and I told you how it is to grow up here. Of course, that changes the feeling a little bit. It seems not just like a holiday, huh?”

Satoshi nodded again as he held tightly to Nagase’s hand. “I might’ve grown up here and not met you.”

“Yes, and I might’ve stayed here and not be in Germany when you needed me,” Nagase agreed. 

“But Satoshi, that didn’t happen. I came to Germany, your parents did and I was there when you needed me. Same with Kazu and now we are here for holidays. Not to live here.”

“What if it all never would have happened if my parents stayed here?” Satoshi asked. “My mum could still be alive. And maybe…”

Nagase sighed as he tucked him in lovingly. “Maybe. But Satoshi if we live our lives with maybes it will just hurt. We have to do with reality and it’s not the worst reality right?”

“No,” Satoshi mumbled, thinking about the small family they had built now. He enjoyed being with them. He sighed softly as he leant against Nagase. 

“Dad, I’m glad to be with you and Kazu,” he said in the end. 

“And I’m glad to have you both.”

“And Samantha,” Satoshi added with a cheeky smile. 

Nagase laughed as he bopped the top of his nose. “Yes, you are alright I suppose. How about a game or two, then we will try all the food that looks good until we feel like we don’t have any room for even one more bite?”

Satoshi giggled as he nodded. “Sounds good. And fireworks?” 

“And firework,” he agreed. 

Satoshi grinned as he jumped up to run to Kazu and hug him tightly while helping him. 

Nagase smiled as he got closer and put an arm around Samantha’s waist. She looked at him before kissing his cheek. 

“You okay?”

“Of course, with you all always.”

“Good,” she agreed as she put her hand on top of his to squeeze the other hand warmly between his fingers. 

Just as he had promised they spent the night trying all the different foods and when the fireworks were over and they headed back for the hotel it was almost midnight which meant that both adults had one sleeping child in their arms to carry back to their room.


	23. Chapter 23

“So early,” Samantha groaned as she pulled her hair out of her face. 

Nagase chuckled softly as he shut off his alarm before it could wake the kids. “Yeah, sorry about that. But we need to be early at the airport.”

“I know, I know. Don’t worry. It was just nice to sleep in each day. I will miss this,” she laughed softly. 

“No, you won’t. You miss work too much to be able to sleep all day or stay at home each day.”

“You’re right,” she agreed with a small laugh as she finally got out of bed to get ready in the bath. 

Nagase grinned and shook his head with a smile. Samantha always wanted to enter the bathroom first and that was fine with him, even if he found it slightly funny because he knew that Samantha was not shy about how she looked right after waking up (which was adorable and beautiful if anybody ever asked Nagase. Then again, Samantha was always beautiful in his eyes.)

“What is it?” Samantha asked when she came back, looking at him with some amusement. 

Nagase blinked at her, before smiling softly. He took her hands in his own to carefully pull her closer to himself. “I just realised how much I love you. Whenever I see you it comes to my mind,” he said. 

Samantha chuckled at his words even if she couldn’t hide her red cheeks. “You’re awful sometimes.”

“I just tell the truth,” Nagase said.

“We only lie about presents,” Kazu’s voice mixed into their talk. Both turned around to look at Kazu who was blinking tiredly while trying to hide a big yawn. 

“True,” Nagase said still with a small laugh in his voice. “We always tell the truth. It*s our family rule,” he agreed as he opened his arm for the small boy as he felt the mattress move under him. 

“Good morning little one. Did we wake you up?”

Kazu nodded as he rubbed his eyes with a smaller yawn. “No voices did,” Kazu answered as he nestled closer to the man. 

Samantha muffled her laughter behind her hands at those words. “Ah that’s bad of the voices,” Nagase said with a small chuckle. “Do you want to go back to sleep.”

“Uhn,” Kazu mumbled moving close and soon after he was snoring against Nagase who grinned in amusement as he put him back to the cushions and put a blanket over him. He then stood to get ready before helping Samantha cleaning up their suitcases to make sure that everything fit it and that the boys had comfy clothes for the flight back. 

—

A bit later they woke the kids and helped them get ready. 

“I’m hungry, Tomo,” Kazu whined as he tugged at his shirt. “Can we eat breakfast?”

“We have to get to the airport today, little one.”

“Does that mean we can’t eat?” Kazu asked with a pout as he sat on the bed, watching the rest packing their luggage. He hugged his teddy to himself while Nagase put one case upright before checking the next. 

“No, but we need over an hour with the train and it’s something very special to try the station bentos. So we’ll get one before getting on the train for breakfast.”

“Can we go now then?”

“We need to check that we haven’t forgotten anything,” he explained. 

“I can help?”

“Of course, don’t forget your duty is to check under the beds.”

“I can do that,” Kazu cried out as he first jumped down, then put his teddy in his backpack before dropping to the floor and crawling around to look under everything that he could check and even found a scarf to present to Samantha who thanked him with a warm kiss to the forehead. 

“All set then,” Nagase said and they left the hotel. Kazu patted his dog case as he pulled it behind himself as they left for the station close by. They were all allowed to chose their bento and finally boarded the train. 

At the airport, it was not as full as the one in Germany so that Kazu was able to carry his bags until they were allowed to board the train. He sat on his seat and waved when the plane started. 

“Bye-bye,” he said with a giggle as the world again hid behind clouds.


	24. Chapter 24

Satoshi was upset as he came home that evening. He threw his bag to the side and stomped to the living room where he buried his face into one of the pillows there. He hugged it tightly as he tried to calm down again. 

He heard noises from the kitchen as he wiped his eyes, sitting up again. Kazu was out with Nagase, and he knew because there was a sleepover at daycare tonight for which Nagase has promised to be one of the extra caretakers. Kazu had been nervous and excited at the same time, and Satoshi had thought he would be all alone today. 

"Satoshi, welcome back," Samantha said with a smile which turned into a concerned frown as she saw the way Satoshi tried to hide his face. "Oh no, what happened?" she asked as she walked around the sofa to kneel in front of it. 

Satoshi stared to the floor, feeling the sting of tears in his eyes he tried so much to hide. He sniffled slightly as her warm, soft hands came up to cradle his cheeks in her hands to make him look up. 

"What happened?" she asked as she carefully wiped his wet cheeks and rubbed at a dirty spot on his cheeks. "Did you get into a fight?"

Tears started running down his cheeks again at her soft question, and he sank into her open arms as he hid his face at Samantha's shoulder. It was seldom he felt like that, but today he felt awful. 

Samantha didn't ask any more questions as he held the crying boy close to her and swayed him back and forth as she hummed slightly. It took a while, but slowly, the tears stopped, and Satoshi was able to lean against her a bit exhausted.

"I'm sorry, your shirt is dirty," he whispered with shame when he moved his head back and saw snot, dirt and a bit of blood clinging to her formerly clean white blouse. 

"It's okay, but could you tell me what happened, please? I worry about you."

Satoshi sniffed slightly as he wiped his eyes again. "I was at the soccer field with Sho. We were playing soccer because Sho wanted to train it was fun. But then he had to go home. I wanted to stay back a little, but there was another group… I don't know they were older, but they knew dad and knew that he isn't my real dad or Kazu and they made fun of Kazu and me, saying we are worthless, and I told them to stop because that's not true, right? But they didn't stop, and because I wanted to play still I ignored them, but they didn't like that, and… and…" Satoshi stopped speaking as another crying fit hit him.

Samantha looked at him with sad eyes before taking him in his arms again, swaying him forth and back while trying to calm him down. 

"They said that I was just like my father and that I would kill people soon enough if they don't show me. They said Kazu was crazy because he goes to therapy it hurt. They took the ball, but it was mine. I wanted it back then they shoved me and hit me and then I ran away. They laughed, telling me I'm weak," he whispered, hiding his face at her chest. 

Samantha sighed at his words and kissed the top of his head. "Those boys were idiots," she said suddenly. 

Satoshi blinked a little. Samantha never swore or told anyone an idiot. The woman moved back to be able to look into his eyes. "Listen to me, Satoshi. You and Kazu both are very special boys. You are very much loved by Tomoya and me even if we don't know each other that well, I can't imagine not to have you both around. Everybody who tells you otherwise is stupid and envious."

"Envious?" Satoshi asked in a small voice, looking at her in wonder. How could anybody be envious of them ever? 

"Yes, because my dear Satoshi: Tomoya has chosen you to be his sons. He loved and cared so much for you that he wanted to see you grow up. It's very special."

"For real?"

She smiled as she caressed his head. "Yes, for real. And your father now is Tomoya, right? He is the one raising you so if you become like him, would it be bad?"

Satoshi thought it over before shaking his head. He would like it very much if he would become like his dad.

"See. Do you want me to call Tomoya? Do you want to talk to your dad? I'm sure he won't mind."

Satoshi thought it over for a while, but he felt a lot calmer already, and he didn't think he needed the words of his father right now. Tomorrow would be early enough. So he shook his head. Samantha smiled as she cleaned his face carefully before hugging him again so very warmly. 

"Kazu is right," he mumbled suddenly.

"Right, how?"

"You are almost like my mother. Her hugs were as warm as yours."

"Then I'm glad to hear that. What do you want to do tonight? We should make it a fun night, don't you think so? So that Tomoya and Kazu are envious of us?"

Satoshi giggled slightly at her words. "I don't want Kazu to be jealous."

"Okay so then it will be our secret, sounds better?"

Satoshi nodded, rubbing his now itching eyes. "Why are you here?"

"Because I didn't want you to be alone tonight. Being alone at night can be scary, but it always is kind of lonely, don't you think so?"

Satoshi nodded softly. He hadn't minded so much, but now he realised that he was much happier to see that he wasn't alone after all. "Can we order food and I should take a shower. I'm dirty," he said with a frown as he realised that. 

"Sounds good. I wasn't looking forward to cooking either way," Samantha teased him as she rubbed his cheeks. "So you go take a shower. I will order lots of junk food, and then we will watch a movie or two?"

"Can we watch an action movie? Kazu isn't allowed since he is still too young," Satoshi asked hopefully with bright eyes. 

Samantha grinned as she nodded and dropped a kiss to his forehead, which made him smile even wider. 

"Of course, anything that's age-appropriate for you and on Netflix. Now hurry."

He grinned happily as he hugged her tightly once more before springing to his feet and heading for the bathroom. His heartfelt much lighter now. He knew Samantha would tell Tomoya soon about today, but for now, he was just happy to know that he shouldn't care for any judgement of other people, he was loved, and he loved.


	25. Chapter 25

"I don't want to go out there," Satoshi whispered as he clung to Nagase's hand. Nagase hugged him softly as he caressed his hair. 

"But you were looking forward to it," he reminded Satoshi. 

"I know, but I was stupid, dad. Can't we go home?" he asked with a wobbling lower lip. Nagase sighed softly before bending over to look into his eyes. 

"Satoshi, you are not stupid so please don't start calling yourself that. I know that you will be great out there. You will surprise everybody, and they will be surprised by watching you at that stage. But if you really don't want to go out there, I can take you and Kazu home."

"Why are you so calm?" Satoshi pouted as he peeked outside from the backstage he was currently in. He paled slightly as he watched a duo perform a dance before looking back at Nagase with big eyes. 

"Because you are the best in my mind, kid. I know what you can do, and if I thought that you would fail, I would have told you not to come."

"Dad, can you stay here?" Satoshi asked as someone came over to tell them that he had to get ready if he wanted to go to the stage. 

Nagase smiled as he nodded and hugged him tightly. "Yes, I will wait for you here, and the second you are back here I will hug the hell out of you, sounds good?"

"Uhn… What about Kazu and Sam?"

"They are outside with Sho and the rest of the audience. I'm sure you won't be able to miss them. Kazu said he would cheer extra loudly for you. You know that we all believe in you?"

Satoshi took a deep breath as he nodded. He didn't know why he had decided to do this. He had seen a flyer in the dance studio he went dancing about this competition. There was a jury who would judge different dancers as to how they did and it and intrigued Satoshi.

The thought of performing in front of others had been an exciting one, and when he had asked Nagase about being allowed to answer the man had checked everything online before telling him if he wanted to, he was allowed to enter. 

Satoshi had practised hard to come up with a dance on his own and then when the letter had come that he was invited for this competition he had been very excited. Now though, he wasn't sure anymore to be honest. 

Nagase ruffled his hair once again before kissing his forehead warmly. "You will do great. Just think you are performing for your little brother and everything will go well."

Satoshi giggled as he imagined the excited face of Kazu and nodded. Nothing he could do would disappoint Kazu, so he was safe; he was sure of it. His name was called, and he went to the side of the stage where an MC was introducing him.

He bowed low in front of the audience as the first beats of the song was heard, and he smiled a little as he could listen to Kazu's voice clearly above all the chatter of the rest. Nagase was right for Kazu e would be able to do his best show and make him smile again. 

Satoshi's body moved on his own as he concentrated on the rhythm of the song and the practised movements. He forgot that he was here in front of hundreds of people and a jury judging his moves. Much too soon, the song was over, and he bowed under the applause of the audience to run backstage. 

Nagase was right behind the curtain like he promised and Satoshi ran to him and into his arms. 

"Dad, I did it!" he cried out happily as Nagase picked him up with ease, which made Satoshi happy with how strong his dad was. 

"I saw. You did great, kid," he whispered as he held him safely when Satoshi's body seemed to grow a bit boneless as all the nervousness and excitement left him. He chuckled as he brought him to the chairs in the backstage to listen to the judgement. Ohno hadn't gotten the first place or even the first three places, but it was suitable for his first competition ever, he thought with a giddy feeling. 

"Let's go outside to the rest," Nagase murmured.

"Okay dad, can we go celebrate?"

"Of course, whatever you want is my demand for today."

Satoshi giggled as they left the building to rejoin with the rest. Kazu was jumping from one foot to the other until he saw them and then ran to his brother to hug him tightly, telling him how the jury was stupid because he was the bestest of them all. And really, who needed any professionals to judge his talents if he had his brother?


	26. Chapter 26

Nagase sat down beside Kazu on the sofa and hugged the small body tightly into his arms. He swayed him from one side to the other. Kazu sniffled softly, hiding his face at his shoulders. 

“My poor little one,” he whispered into his ear and held him tightly as Kazu’s arms closed around his neck. Their neighbour Mrs Schmidt had come to him just earlier this day to tell him the sad news that Lulu her dog had died. Nagase had been glad that neither Kazu nor Satoshi had been home so that he had enough time to think of a way to tell his little son the news. 

Kazu had fallen for the dog and Nagase had feared this day for months now. Lulu had gotten ill, and as it was already old, it had only been a question of how long it would take. Kazu had known of the illness and what it could mean. Still, it had hurt the small boy immensely. 

Nagase played with Kazu’s hair to calm him down and hummed as he put his head on top of Kazu. The full out crying had calmed down, but he still could feel the sadness seep out of the small boy. 

He wished that he could take all the pain away, but this was life, and it was hard to do so. He kissed his forehead as he rubbed his cheeks to dry them and smile at the small boy. 

“I will miss Lulu I liked playing with it,” Kazu said sadly. 

“And it will miss you,” Nagase said softly and kissed his forehead. “But it was ill and old.”

Kazu rubbed his nose but nodded after a while. “Still, I’m sad,” he said with a small voice. 

“I know, and you’re allowed to be,” Nagase said and hugged him close. “But I’m here if you want to talk or if you need anything else.”

“I need a warm hug,” Kazu decided after a while. Nagase chuckled softly but tightened his arms around the small boy again that he could give him. 

“And what food would help you?” he asked. Kazu hummed a little bit in thought as he snuggled close to him. He bit on his thumb which Nagase stopped as he took his hands in one of his own to make sure that he didn’t hurt himself. 

“I want hamburger steak in teriyaki sauce with broccoli and rice,” he asked after a few minutes of thought. 

“That sounds like a good idea,” Nagase said with a small laugh. It was funny how much the food in his fridge changed. He almost always had minced meat in there because both boys loved all kinds of dishes with it, especially Kazu. 

Kazu hid a happy smile at Nagase’s shoulder and closed his arms as he felt his body growing warm in the embrace of his adoptive father. He didn’t want to let go yet. 

“So my little leech how about we go to the kitchen?” Nagase said in a teasing voice. 

“Okay,” Kazu mumbled and hugged him again around his neck so that Nagase was forced to lift him and carry him to the kitchen. Nagase did with a small eye roll. He put him down on the kitchen table where Kazu whined because he didn’t want to let him go.

“Kazu I can’t cook if I carry you around,” he explained with a small sigh. He frowned at the boy who was still clinging to him. He sighed as he caressed his hair.

“Okay, let’s try this: You can climb on my shoulders and then hold on tightly while I prepare the meat,” Nagase sighed as he turned around. 

Kazu’s eyes lightened up at that promise, and he climbed on his shoulders. Nagase made sure that the boy was safely on top of him as he stood and prepared the meat patties to put them in the fridge to rest and then start on the rice. Afterwards, he pulled Kazu around so that he was back into his arms. 

“We can cuddle for another half an hour. Then I have to cook, or Satoshi will be hungry. Okay?”

“Uhn,” Kazu nodded and hugged him around the neck once again when they went back to the sofa. He wasn’t happy when Nagase finally left him with a blanket to keep warm, but it just wasn’t the same. 

— 

Kazu had calmed down during dinner and was now lying in bed, cuddling his toy dog and sleeping peacefully. Nagase sat in the living room with Satoshi by his side who was sketching on his notepad. Nagase smiled a bit as he rubbed the base of Satoshi’s neck who looked up with a fake pout. 

“I’m concentrating,” Satoshi said to which Nagase chuckled softly. 

“I’m wondering if you will ever get bored of painting pictures,” he teased the boy. Satoshi had always been calm. He liked going to his dance training twice a week and play with his friends, but at home, he was mostly submerged in drawing or doing other kinds of crafts. 

“Nope. I like it, dad,” Satoshi said with a shrug. He always liked just drawing whatever was in his mind. Shortly after he had restarted drawing, he had been almost maniac because he had stopped for so long, but now it was a pleasant pastime for him. 

“Dad?”

“Yes?”

“What was wrong with Kazu today?”

“Lulu died,” Nagase explained with a sigh. “Kazu was upset when I told him.”

“He loves dogs,” Satoshi said with a hum. 

“He does,” Nagase said with a smile. 

“Can’t he get one?”

Nagase sighed as he leant back onto the sofa. Satoshi had stopped drawing and was looking at him with hopeful eyes.

“Kazu is still too little and unstable to take responsibility of a dog,” Nagase explained with a sad sigh. “And you don’t like dogs that much.”

Satoshi shrugged as he thought it over. “I don’t mind dogs. I don’t care about them as much as Kazu, but if it’s cute I’ll like it,” he grinned. 

Nagase laughed softly and looked at the ceiling. It was true he had thought of getting Kazu a dog. But only when the boy was older and would be able to understand how to care for a dog and that a dog was no toy.

“If, and this is a very big if, we get a dog, would you be able to help with taking care of it?” he asked Satoshi. 

The boy nodded slowly as he licked his lips. It was a big responsibility, but if it helped? “Yes, taking it for walks, right?”

Nagase nodded at that question. He would have to talk to Samantha as well about it. They thought about moving in together. And if they did that she had to be okay with a dog as well.

“I’ll think about it, but it’s getting late, and you probably should go to bed. There is school tomorrow,” Nagase reminded Satoshi who frowned but nodded. He got up and kissed Nagase’s cheek before leaving him alone, skipping off. The thought of a dog somehow really excited him.


	27. Chapter 27

“Kazu? Kazu where are you hiding?” Nagase asked loudly after he had paid the moving company a tip for their efforts to move all their things to their new home. It had been a stressful morning with all the men coming to their flat, packing the boxes and furniture in the van to bring it out here. 

Kazu had insisted on being with them for the whole day and had wanted to help as much as he could. But for an hour now the little boy had vanished. 

Since Kazu listened to Nagase and Samantha, Nagase hadn’t been too worried about the boy, thinking that he had hidden away in a room where no people were with his dog and teddy bear in tow. But now that they were alone again, he was getting worried about his little boy. 

Nagase knew that it would have been better if Kazu had stayed with a friend just like Satoshi did who went to Sho’s family home for the weekend to be away from all the hectic things. But Kazu had insisted and so Nagase had allowed it. 

Also, it had been good for Kazu to say goodbye to the apartment where he had found some kind of peace again and Nagase knew that Kazu was very excited about being in their new house. 

It had also helped Kazu to see that nothing got left behind and say goodbye to their old neighbours, hugging the old lady tightly and getting the promise that she would visit while he was allowed to visit her all the time he wanted. 

Samantha had helped the best she could and now was gone to get them some food since it was way past lunch-time and they all were hungry. Kazu had already whined more than once that he wanted food but other than a muesli bar hadn’t been possible. 

Now that he didn't find the boy he was worried that Kazu had slipped outside without anyone of them realising as a prank or because he had been too upset.

“Kazu? Come on, I don’t want to play a game we didn’t agree on,” he called again, looking into the different rooms that they had put stuff into. It was hard to find a small body in all that chaos but to his immense relief, he finally found Kazu between a few boxes they had moved in at the beginning.

The small boy was curled around his teddy bears, his eyes closed and were breathing calmly, apparently deep asleep. 

“Oh little one,” Nagase sighed as he knelt beside him to rouse him carefully. Kazu blinked his eyes open, yawning widely as he rubbed his eyes. “What are you doing here on the floor?”

“I played with Doggie and Mr Bear, Tomo. It was fun. They like the new house but it was so loud. They didn’t like the noise so I had to calm them down and we fell asleep,” Kazu explained, showing him his toys. 

“I see. But isn’t the floor uncomfortable to sleep on?”

“It’s like the holidays. We slept on the floor there too,” he said with a bright grin. 

Nagase smiled as he bopped his nose. That wasn’t exactly true since they slept on bedrolls but he supposed that it was similar for the boy. “True. How about now. Do Doggie and Mr Bear feel better?”

“Yes!” Kazu cried out as his stomach grumbled and he hugged it tightly. “But we are hungry,” he whined. “My tummy is making noises.”

“Then it’ll be happy to hear that Sammi had gone to get us some food,” he said with a grin as he picked him up, kissing his forehead. “But Kazu, next time you go to play, tell me where okay? I was worried that you ran out with all the moving people.”

“But Tomo told us to not go outside without him or Sammi,” Kazu said with a frown. 

Nagase nodded as he ruffled his hair. “Yes, and you are a very good boy to listen to me,” he said with a smile. It was just that he was used to children doing the exact opposite of what he told them. Kazu grinned brightly at those words and hugged him around the neck. 

“Tomo?”

“Yes?” 

“Where will we sleep today?”

“We’ll put the mattresses on the floor in that empty room and sleep there. And then from tomorrow on we will unpack everything and slowly prepare our rooms.”

Kazu nodded as he laid his head on his shoulder. “So I don’t have to sleep alone?”

“Not yet,” Nagase promised, hugging him more tightly. A throw-back from their holidays was that Kazu got so used to sleep with all of them in a room that he couldn’t sleep alone in his room and ended up beside Nagase on his bed more often than Nagase would like. But if that meant he felt safe, he would let him be. 

“And Satoshi?”

“Satoshi stays with Sho for a few days. It’s still summer holidays and he asked me if he was allowed to do so,” Nagase said. 

Kazu nodded in understanding. “And I can stay with you,” he agreed after a while with a smile. “And I can help you build the house,” he declared with a happy smile. 

Nagase laughed softly but nodded. “Yes, you can also choose the room you want to be yours.”

“Yay,” Kazu said clapping his hands as Nagase put him on the sofa that was in the middle of where their living room would be. He had already pulled off the plastic wrap so that it was more comfortable for Kazu to sit on.

“Tomo? Can we go play outside?”

“We can go into the garden today and you can play there, okay?”

Kazu frowned but nodded. “Okay,” he said with a sigh, cheering up when Samantha brought their food. After lunch, they went out to play a bit in the garden before going inside again where Kazu watched a movie on Nagase’s laptop while the two adults prepared their sleeping space. It would take a few days but Nagase was sure that in the end, their home would be very comfortable rather soon.


	28. Chapter 28

“Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday dear Kazu, happy birthday to you.”

Kazu was sitting at the head of the table, his eyes blown wide and happy as he looked at the big chocolate cake topped with raspberries on the middle at the table while the others sat around him singing him a birthday song. He giggled when Nagase held him around the middle, kissing his cheek. 

“Blow the candles, little one and make a wish,” he said as he held him closer to the cake. 

Kazu was swinging his legs as he moved forward to blow out all the candles, grinning when he only needed three times to be able to blow out all six of them. He was put down on his chair again and then hugged by the others. 

“What did you wish for?” Satoshi asked curiously. 

“That the people in school will like me,” Kazu mumbled with a small worried look in his eyes. 

“They will,” Nagase said as he patted his head. “Don’t worry too much about this, okay?”

“Okay. Tomo never lies, right?”

“Right,” Nagase said as he put the plates on the table with a smile. “But enough of those worries, okay?”

“Okay! Cake!” Kazu cried out, clapping happily. 

“And presents,” Satoshi added with a small grin. Today would only be half of the present since they had agreed that even if Kazu would get his dearly wished dog, it wouldn’t be on his actual birthday when the boy was this excited and they had children coming over to play. 

Kazu giggled as he nodded and thanked Nagase for the cake. It was only early in the morning but somehow they had started to have cake for breakfast when one of them celebrated their birthday. It was the easiest time since they all were at home then. 

Nagase tried to get a holiday whenever one of the children celebrated but he also normally made sure that the other child was away with friends so that they wouldn’t disturb the parties. 

This was most important for Satoshi’s parties since Kazu mostly couldn’t participate easily and Nagase feared that Satoshi would get frustrated to have to hold back each time because of Kazu. Kazu, on the other hand, liked having Satoshi and Sho over for his parties. (as of now. Nagase was sure that this would change when Kazu got older as well.)

Kazu happily ate his cake before he was presented with his gifts. 

Satoshi made a new picture for his brother since Kazu seemed to like those more than anything Satoshi could give to him. Samantha had gotten him the board game he had liked to play as well as two shirts with his favourite character.

He thanked them happily as he changed his shirt and then looked curiously to Nagase since the man hadn’t given him anything yet. 

“The last present is a bit bigger. So we have to go to the living room,” he explained as he helped Kazu down. Kazu ran to the living room curiously with the others in tow. 

He was confused when he was presented with a big cushion, a few bowls, dog food and a leash. 

“I don’t understand,” he said with an unhappy frown on his face, looking up at Nagase. 

Nagase chuckled as he sat beside him on the floor and pulled him on his lap. 

“What was your greatest wish?”

“I wanna have a doggie,” Kazu said, tilting his head to the side. Slowly realisation came to his eyes and he was brimming with excitement as he hopped up and down on Nagase’s lap. 

“I gonna get a doggie?” he said. “A real puppy?”

“We will get the puppy together,” Nagase said tickling him. “But yes, it will be your birthday present. But know that taking care of a dog is a big responsibility. You can’t turn it to the side when you don’t want it anymore,” he said sternly.

“I won’t!” Kazu promised, nodding with big eyes. He knew that having a dog meant to take care of it forever and he was looking forward to it. “I will walk it daily and feed it and clean it. And love it very very much. I promise.”

Nagase laughed as he nodded. “I know. We all will. But because today will be your big party, we won’t get it before tomorrow. It will be too stressful for a small puppy to come to a home filled with voices and strangers.”

“Okay,” Kazu said happily. He jumped up and down after standing up, dancing around and singing about getting a small dog the next day. 

Nagase sighed but couldn’t help the smile. He would have to make sure tomorrow that Kazu was calm enough as to not scare the puppy, but it should be fine. 

—

Satoshi sat with Kazu and Samantha in the living room as they were trying to distract Nino with a game. But the younger boy always perked up when he thought he could hear something outside. It was a quite amusing sight. 

Nagase had gone half an hour ago to bring their little adopted puppy home alone so that it won’t be too scared since it already knew Nagase from visits with the breeder. 

When the door finally opened Kazu jumped up, jousting the table on his way to the front and stopping the game that way. Satoshi giggled as he got up and put the fallen figures back on the table before going to the front as well to greet their new family member. 

Kazu was standing silently in the entryway, watching Nagase as the man took off his shoes. The man had the puppy in his arms and was patting it to calm it down as the small dog looked around curiously but a bit insecurely as well. 

Soon enough there was a small bark though and his tail was swinging freely back and forth. 

“Seems like someone is excited,” Nagase said with a smile as he knelt to put the dog on the floor. “Slow now Kazu,” he reminded the boy who nodded and then stepped closer to the dog. 

He held out his hand as Nagase had explained that morning, kneeling himself to be on one height with the dog. Nagase had explained that he needed to let the dog come to him so he waited for the dog to sniff at his hand, giggling slightly when the cold wet nose hit his fingers. 

The giggling got louder as the puppy licked his hand and Satoshi chuckled as he saw Kazu trying hard to hold back his squeal when the small puppy jumped close to him, rubbing his head against his chest. 

“He likes me,” Kazu said happily as he stroke the dog softly. “You are with us now, doggie. Do we need a name for you ne? And you don’t have to be scared. We have a big garden. Tomo built us a climbing house and a slide and a swing… Which you can’t use,” Kazu realised with a frown. 

“But don’t worry we have balls,” he remembered than with a grin, giggling when the dog climbed on top of him, throwing him onto his back almost with the force of it. “And Tomo will protect you, right Tomo?”

“Of course,” Nagase said with a laugh as he helped Kazu up.

“And Toshi will play with you as well. Toshi knows the most fun games,” he explained as he pointed at Satoshi who was grinning as well. 

“And Sammi smells good and gives warm hugs,” he ended as he pointed at the woman who just smiled. 

“Kazu, how about you show him where his food and water bowls are?” Nagase reminded him. 

Kazu nodded as he held out his hand to get the dog to follow him. He showed him almost all of the house until they ended up in the garden to play.


	29. Chapter 29

Laughter rang through the garden as Kazu ran around waving a stick behind him. There was barking following him as the small puppy hunted the stick. 

They ran around in circles until Kazu stumbled slightly and Yuki managed to jump on him. Instead of crying, Kazu giggled loudly as he turned to his back. The small dog was walking on top to him until it reached his face and started to lick it. 

Nagase rolled his eyes. He had given up to remind Kazu not to let him lick his face. Besides, it was an adorable sight and Nagase knew this would change as both grew. 

The only thing he was quite strict about was not to force the puppy to play - especially if it was sleeping - or feeding it with food while they were eating. 

Luckily Kazu already learnt manners about dogs with Lulu when they were still in their apartment.

“You look worried,” Samantha said as she sat beside Nagase on the veranda, enjoying the warm sun on her face. She regularly was over on weekends and often came for a few hours after work. 

The kids liked having her over and Nagase was more than happy to have her close. So, of course, he wasn’t complaining. The only thing he had to get used to again was that having her with him was that he couldn’t hide his feelings so well. And that he didn’t have to.

“I am. I know that Satoshi will adjust well in the new school. He is looking forward to it and he is confident enough around other children. Mostly because he has his friends from grade school and his dancing group, but this is still a big change for him,” he said with a frown. “Kazu only has two real friends in kindergarten and he doesn’t go to any clubs because he is not interested yet.”

Samantha nodded a little with a smile. “And now you worry that he won’t adjust?”

“Yes, he isn’t used to sitting down and listening to teachers yet. He sometimes runs and hides which he can’t do at school. Yes, he is looking forward to learning all the big boy things as he says but still… it will be a big change for him.”

“He’ll be fine,” Samantha said as she held his hand in her own and caressed the back of his hand. 

“Because he has you and Satoshi at home waiting for him and helping him adjust. He is used to speaking to you if something bothers him.”

“But what if he doesn’t? Sometimes he doesn’t think it’s important or that I would get angry.”

“What about the therapist. He still goes, right?”

“Yes, after the holidays it will be back to weekly visits,” Nagase mumbled. That was another worry. He knew kids could be brutal if they thought it was funny. He sighed as he rubbed his face. 

“You shouldn’t worry about this all now. The school is a good one and a small one. You made sure. And if you worry so much he will be scared and then it all will come true because…”

“…Self-fulfilling prophecy,” Nagase nodded. He smiled a bit as he shook his head. He lifted their hands to kiss Samantha’s hand softly. 

“Thanks for setting my head straight. You’re right. It will be good. I was just as worried about kindergarten and it mostly went well. I just have to trust him now as well.”

“Yes, and you raised him good so far. He’ll be fine,” she said as she grinned when Kazu ran over to ask for something to drink, ending their conversation rather abruptly. 

“Are you two having fun?”

“Very,” Kazu giggled as he waved the stick so that Yuki jumped up and down before he finally threw it so that the puppy could run after it while he drank his water.


	30. Chapter 30

“You think he is real?” Kazu asked with big eyes as he looked at his big brother. 

Ohno nodded with a very serious gaze. “Of course, he is real!” he said. “Everybody who says otherwise is lying.”

“But…” Kazu’s head moved to one side as he thought this over. “Aren’t the eggs heavy?”

Satoshi giggled as he shook his head. “No, he is a super bunny. He can carry all kind of things. Promise. He will come.”

Kazu’s eyes lightened up at the promise and he looked around. “We need to put out a carrot. Bunnies eat carrots right?”

“Yes,” Satoshi agreed. 

“And… Tomo?!” he shouted as he got to his feet to run over to the room that Nagase always worked on boring things. They were not allowed to colour on his sheets so he was not interested in anything inside but his adoptive father. 

Tomo looked up in confusion and alert as he looked his youngest son over. Just when he didn’t see any injuries or fear in his eyes did he relax and instead he smiled at the excitement running through the boy that rocked on his feet. 

“Yes? What is up?”

“We need to make sure that Yuki stays in tonight.”

“Oh, and why is that?”

“Because the Easter bunny will come. And he is scared of dogs. I’m sure. Dogs are scary for little bunnies,” he explained in a serious voice. His eyes were big as he looked at the man. 

“Oh, you are right. Tomorrow is Easter already,” Nagase said with a small wince. He had almost all forgotten about it. He was glad that Samantha had already bought things for them to hide weeks ago and promised to bake a sweet bread for their Easter brunch. God his cases these days sure kept him busy. 

“I will make sure he stays inside until you’ve found your gifts,” Nagase said. “Because if there is chocolate you need to find them before Yuki gets out and finds it.”

“Yes, chocolate is bad for dogs.”

“Right,” Nagase said as he ruffled his hair. “So you need to look for carrots?”

“Yes as a gift and a thank you for the bunny that he went here.”

“Then you should choose wisely. Come on, I have some in the kitchen,” Nagase said as he picked him up and swung him around a few times, smiling at the laughter coming from the boy. He kissed his forehead as he put him down again. 

Kazu giggled as he ran to the kitchen and sat down on the floor where he was able to pull out the bag with the carrots from the cupboard. He had a serious frown on his face as he pulled each out and compared them to the one he had in hand before until he finally found the very best one. He jumped to his feet about to run out and put the carrot on the veranda when he stopped and looked back at the mess he had made. He stared at the carrot in his hands, back to the floor and sighed. Nagase always told them to tidy up behind himself. He put the carrot very carefully down on the table and then fell to his knees again as he put the discarded carrots back. 

On his way out he realised that he hadn’t washed the carrot and climbed onto the step to clean it like Nagase had shown him a while ago. Then he jumped down again, staring at the still wet carrot. 

“Tomo!” 

“Yes?” Nagase asked as he came to the kitchen. He smiled as he saw Kazu standing in the middle of the room with his eyes on the carrot. 

“Do bunnies eat unpeeled carrots?” he asked worriedly.

“Yep, they like they that way. Don’t worry.”

“Do bunnies eat flowers?”

“The small white and yellow ones on the grass,” Nagase said with a smile. Kazu smiled as he nodded in understanding and ran out of the kitchen. He placed the carrot on the veranda, before putting on his rain boots and started to collect a few flowers. 

“Dad?”

“Mhm?” 

“Will Samantha come tomorrow?” 

“Yup, she makes your favourite cake and sweet bread.”

Satoshi grinned as he ran over to hug his father tightly. “Thank you!”

“You should thank her tomorrow.”

Ohno grinned. “I will, because I know you didn’t buy gifts,” he giggled. “Will you hide them?”

“Of course.”

Satoshi giggled as he nodded and watched Kazu prepare the present for the Easter bunny before coming inside with red cheeks happily grinning as he babbled away about all the things that he would find tomorrow. Satoshi knew that he would have to help his little brother but he also would without problems.

—

“Toshi, wakey, wakey,” Kazu said as he hopped into his big brother's room. Yuki was close behind him and Kazu giggled as the dog jumped on the bed. “Bad Yuki, down,” he chided as he climbed up on the bed himself. 

Satoshi groaned and huffed as a bony knee connected with his arm and his eyes flew open. “Kazu?” he asked groggily.

“It’s morning,” the boy declared sitting down beside him on the bed when Satoshi managed to sit up. “The Easter bunny has been there. We must check! Come with me?”

“First breakfast,” Satoshi groaned. “Ah, no brunch later with Sammy.”

Kazu pouted as he sat there and shook his head. “First we need to check for sweets. Yuki isn’t allowed outside before.”

Satoshi sighed as he climbed out of bed and tugged Kazu out behind him. “Let’s wake dad,” he said with a sigh.

Kazu cheered silently and together they went to the bedroom. Kazu climbed onto the bed and pressed a kiss to Nagase’s cheek. “Wakey wakey, Tomo,” he said bouncing on the big bed. He liked Nagase’s bed the best because it was big enough to fit them all in and he liked cuddling with him and Satoshi on rainy days or very sad days.

“Somebody is excited, huh?” Nagase said with a grin as he tickled the boy who shrieked at the assault and wriggled on the bed. “Wriggly bottom.”

“The Easter bunny. Was he there?” Kazu asked with a gasp when Nagase stopped and climbed out of bed before throwing him over his shoulder to carry him to the bathroom to get washed and brush his teeth. 

“Of course, he was there,” Nagase said.

“Can we look?”

“You may when you have changed in proper clothes. It’s cold outside.”

“Yay!” Kazu cheered. “Toshi said we need to eat first and wait. But Sammy comes later right?”

“Yes, and I know that you won’t be able to wait. And we might need the eggs for breakfast,” Nagase said with a laugh when Kazu did a silly dance on his step. “But first brush your teeth.”

“Yes,” he giggled as Nagase put his hands on his shoulders to keep him still. He was just too excited about such mundane things. And Satoshi moved way too slowly, he thought as he looked at the other. He would find so much more things than Satoshi! And then he would share with him his findings. He wanted for once get more than the other!

They went outside just as the sun broke through the clouds and Kazu cheered as he saw that the carrot has been a bit eaten. He jumped down the small steps leading from the veranda into the garden and ran over to the bushes to fall to his knees and start searching for the hidden gifts.

Satoshi giggled at the wriggling bottom of the other. Kazu cried out happily when he moved back and got to his feet to run over to Nagase. “Look, look. He really was here!” he said happily showing him a yellow egg with purple flowers on it.

“Very good,” Nagase said as he sat down a basket for them to put their findings in. “Then run around and look. There will be more, I’m sure,” he said. 

Kazu ran off to the garden again, looking for more as Nagase ruffled Satoshi’s hair. “I hid ten eggs, two chocolate bunnies, a book, new paints and two chocolate mix bags. I’ll go make some coffee and tea. Any preferences?”

“Strawberry green tea, and got it,” Satoshi said with a grin. 

“Toshi, come look!” Kazu cried as he turned around and waved him over impatiently. Ohno giggled as he kissed his father on the cheek before he jogged over to Kazu to help him search. He scanned the area and whenever Kazu was off into a completely wrong direction he carefully guided him over to where he would find the next egg or gift without being too obvious. 

“You are good this year,” he said with a pout as he jumped up to a little tree and picked out the mixed bag. 

“I share,” Kazu said with a bright grin. “With you, Sammy and Tomo,” he promised. 

“Aww, thank you,” Satoshi giggled as he hugged him tightly, before running off again with Kazu to look for the rest. When they had found everything an hour was almost gone and Kazu was starting to whine because he was hungry and thirsty.

“I’m sure dad has prepared something already,” Satoshi mumbled as he tugged him over to the veranda where their father had already put the tea and some cornflakes for the breakfast together with some vegetable sticks. That would be enough until Samantha would come over in two hours for brunch and another round of egg hunting inside their house. 

A/N: Something short and silly but maybe some of you will like it :D


End file.
